Monday, November 21, 2016

with love, moi.

{this song came on my playlist as i was writing this post.
could it be more perfect?
so press play & humor me on being cheesy. 
did you press it? 
okay, now you may proceed with reading}


okay loves, i get it,
y'all feel like we've been celebrating my birthday for about a year now,
but i'm all about the celebrations in life,
so just let a princess be.
the actual day is wednesday,
and then i promise we are done.
well, until next year...of course.

the truth is,
i have this post set to a scheduled release, so once it is published,
i'll be far away from my computer cozying up with my family & friends by the ocean,
with my phone hopefully nowhere near me.
instead working to be ever present in the moment with those i love most.
just one of my many lofty goals i have written down & set forth for this year.

one of the great things about having a birthday with a side of thanksgiving every year,
is the week never passes without reflecting on all i have to be thankful for.
so before i hop away for my 30th vacation,
i wanted to express bunches & bunches of sincerity filled gratitude.
often times when people reach big milestones in life,
graduation, engagement, wedding, babies, birthdays, job promotions, etc...
we tend to believe it's all about us.
i mean, we are the person physically reaching the milestone, right?
but if there is one thing i have learned in my 30 years,
it's that while, yes, i am the person actually crossing that specific finish line,
the race was never ran alone.
it takes a village, people.
and as you can see from above,
nobody does it like my village does it.
if i could send you all a handwritten thank you note in the mail,
i would.
sealed with love & a forever stamp, of course.

i wouldn't be where i am at this point in my life without so many people,
those who have always supported me & even those who have always doubted me.
the former group continuously cheering on my successes,
and the later reminding me to never give in, even if just to prove them all wrong.
to my mother - for raising me to have courage & be kind,
to my father - for never, ever doubting how high i could rise up,
to my brothers - for teaching me to be tough, but always treating me like a princess,
to my best girlfriends - for showing me what loyalty truly is,
 to my teachers, mentors and friends - for opening my eyes to the magnitude of living a beautiful life,
i will never be able to truly express the piece of my heart each of you holds.

in my 30 years i have loved and i have lost,
i have laughed and i have cried,
i have gone big and won and 
i have gone even bigger and crashed.
i have had days that i imagined couldn't get any greater,
and i have had nights that seemed so lonely i might disappear.
i have traveled and i have met people and i have truly come to know that living is meant for loving.
i have wanted for things that never came,
i have worked for achievements that i'm proud to call mine,
and i have learned what really matters thus far.

and what really matters, you might ask?
the shoes and the purses and the pretty clothes and "olivia pope inspired" apartment 
and fun job and vacations are great and all,
but life should be measured in the amount of love you are not only willing to give,
but that you hold yourself worthy enough to receive.
it has taken me years to allow myself to be vulnerable enough to let people love me.
and perhaps that's the gift i'm truly giving myself this year.
letting it in and then, hopefully to the best of my ability, giving it back in kind.
well that...and maybe a pair of new stilettos.

so hello 30,
i've been waiting for you.

{photo taken from these etsy invites}

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