Saturday, October 22, 2016

you've got mail.

if there is a way to be unconventional at something,
i will probably find & ride it on my unicorn into the sunset.

when i was called to be president of the women's organization at church two years ago,
i knew that i wouldn't be the normal relief society president.
{if you are mormon, you understand the stereotype,
if you aren't, just understand - it isn't me in anyway, shape, nor form}
which explains why i almost fell out of my seat when asked.
but i figured, even if i couldn't quite grasp it yet,
there was a reason this was my time to serve.
so i was just going to do it my way.
well...mine and God's, of course.

if being relief society president had a political platform,
{thank goodness it doesn't, but if it did}
mine would have been: love you before you let someone love you.
every sunday as i would look out over all my sweet girls that i loved so much,
i worried they wouldn't understand what amazing women they are,
that they would learn to think what other's thought of them 
was more important than their own opinions of themselves,
or fall prey to the idea that self worth is dependent upon a facebook relationship status.
i figured the foundations of the gospel were inherent in coming to church,
but i wanted to make a difference in these girls becoming the kind of women they always dreamed they could be.
of helping them realize their magnitude in this world.
so i went to work.
from saturday morning pilates lessons, 
to book club,
to taylor swift galantine's day parties, 
to love notes,
to pep talks even the best cheerleader on this earth couldn't rival,
i made it my mission to create a community of women 
full of acceptance, growth, love and FUN!
i would come home from church on sundays 
and surely feel like i had made such a fool of myself,
but if it made even the tiniest impression of positivity,
i had no problem sacrificing whatever cool cards i have earned in this life.

when i was released from the position a few months ago,
i did a lot of reflecting on the past year and a half.
and as the normal perfectionist i am, 
i found all the ways i could have been better.
i did my best and was proud that i survived it, 
{sometimes very much barely...ha!}
we all know hind sight is always 20/20,
and a lot of, maybe i should've done this or said that more, went through my mind.
but then you make peace with that chapter in life and gear up for a new one.
which i did.
until this week when i received a postcard from new york city,
with the sweetest & kindest note penned on the back from one of thee sissys in my group.
i cried when i read it and, i have to admit, breathed a tiny sigh of relief
{pun intended}
that even if my crazy only had a true affect on her,
then that is more than i could have ever hoped for.
because what she doesn't know is that her words of thoughtfulness and love 
had an incredible affect on me right back this week when i needed it so dearly.

women building up other women.
imagine that.

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