Thursday, October 15, 2015

good vibrations.

it has been a year since i made the big and slightly out-of-my-character move here.
now, utah still is not my favorite place.
 and i have finally accepted that it just never will be.
it's not a good thing or a bad thing, but just a thing.
but don't worry, we are at peace.
mostly because i love the life i have been able to build here.
and while it has been thee roller-coaster of life roller-coaster years,
it has also opened my eyes to just how lucky i am to have the life i have,
and, the people i have in it.
near and, more especially, far.

i have never wanted for meaningful friendships in my life.
through grade school, junior high, high school, college...
i have always had good people around me.
and the rarity of this was never lost on me.
but i didn't truly appreciate it until this most recent move.
because while i love my faith & testimony with every part of my soul,
i just don't necessarily fit in with that stereotypical part of my culture.
{i never really have}
and unfortunately, i am now living in the epicenter of where a lot of those stereotypes stem from.
not all, but some.
and that is okay.
you do you. 
i do me.
that being said doesn't mean i don't miss the days after work where i can speed-dial a gal pal to overload on carbs & girl talk at dinner that night.
the kind where there are no limits to the conversation, 
you can say the things you are even afraid to admit to yourself,
you laugh so hard your insides feel stretched, 
and you know the person staring back at you from across the table just gets you without any explanation and is in your life to stay.
or i can go to a hockey game with a guy who i have known for ages and not have to worry about if he is going to "read into" this too much.
{perhaps almost equally as tragic is that real hockey doesn't exist in utah. oye!}

but when i got to work today and soul friend matt, who lives 2,000 miles away, asked if i wanted to do lunch, and i replied with a sassy comment about how that would certainly be nice,
little did i know that 4 hours later my favorite lunch would be delivered to my office.
reminding me that while yes, utah can be lonely at times, 
i am still the luckiest girl of all.
because how many people can say their friends unpromptedly think to send lunch on any given thursday?
and that while my tribe may not be "here" physically,
they are still the best part of me.
and distance is only a number.


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