Friday, November 20, 2015

i would tell her yes.

exactly 1,425 days ago this picture was taken.
{that's 4 years plus 1 great day, you're welcome}
my two best friends came to my parents' house and kidnapped me for a birthday trip to vegas.
we stayed at paris {my long time dream}, ate fancy chinese {my favorite cuisine}, got lots of free alcohol gifted to us by strangers {perfect prezzie for the girl that doesn't drink}, and danced to our hearts content.
and if it looks like i am mustering every ounce of my spirit to smile, it's because i was.
i was obliterated on the inside.
they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but the memories and feelings you have when looking at that moment forever frozen in time might be worth a million.
but if i could go back those 1,425 days and sit down with this girl, whose heart was broken and soul was beaten and mind wondered if the constant feeling of disappointment would ever go away,
i would tell her...

yes.
that pit you have at the bottom of your stomach that seems to be a newly permanent ache in your life disappears.
the gift of time becomes your kindest ally.
you stop waking up in the middle of the night wishing it was all a bad dream.
and you eventually don't need your mom to sit by your bed and hold your hand as you fall asleep.
and as with most heartbreak it leaves a scar.
the good news is it only takes a few months into the next 1,425 days for you to realize he wasn't what you wanted.
in fact, you thank God atleast once a week for not answering that prayer.

yes.
the two people sitting with you in that photo never leave your side.
over the next few years there will be ups and there will be downs,
that is part of loving anyone and allowing anyone to love you back,
but they are your constants.
new friends will come and old friends will go,
these two are your soulmates, so treat them well and be grateful you have two people in your life who care about you enough to have peeled you up off your floor 24 hours before this photo was taken and who put you in the car and forced you to celebrate your birthday.
that's selfless love.
some people in this world don't even have one person who would do that,
you have two.

yes.
over the next 4 years you will win some and lose some more.
don't try and protect yourself from it.
closing yourself off to the world guarantees you won't get hurt,
but the price people pay for doing so is far greater than the feeling of a shattered heart.
so be open, be vulnerable, let it all gut you and then build you back up.
because life is a messy gift.
and that's not a result of doing anything wrong, but rather in doing things right.
it's not supposed to be something you can tie up in a pretty bow and show off to people.
let go.
be kinder to yourself and more patient in your faults.
push your comfort zone to the point where it all becomes uncomfortable.
perfection isn't meant to be the goal,
the goal is a life well ventured and lived.
and sometimes finding the balance comes from losing it.
{thank you elizabeth gilbert}

i would tell her yes,
you, all on your own, right now as you are, broken but determined, are already enough.
and perhaps that's the greatest thing you learn over the next 1,425 days.

happy birthday dear girl,
see ya in 4 years.
xoxo

Sunday, November 15, 2015

sweet november.

{wild - cheryl strayed}

growing up, novembers were always my favorite.
every year they brought a birthday and turkey and gratitude and the lingering of halloween with a hint of christmas to come.

but then life happens,
and so november comes with everything above still,
but now always with a trace of the past.
and while it's a past i no longer wish had been my future,
{thank gracious for those unanswered prayers}
there is still that faint sting.
mostly that the girl i was, blissfully trusting and naive,
will never be me again.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss that girl sometimes,
the one who welcomed people in without questioning ulterior motives 
and looked at love through rose colored glasses.
she always believed it was just around the corner.
and for a minute...she believed she had found it.

but there is something that comes along with heartbreak.
because after the part that just about kills you,
comes the part where you have a choice to let it build you up again.
not as the person you once were, 
but as the person you decide you are going to be. 
braver and stronger and kinder and, one day, full of hope again.

so welcome, sweet november.
it took me a while to get here,
but i think we can finally be friends.
xoxo

Friday, October 16, 2015

favorite friday.

 living alone this past year has been one of my favorite life experiences so far.
not having to clean up my pile of unused outfits on weeks where there just isn't time?
great.
picking the signature scent of my space?
yummy.
watching whatever i want on tv?
hockey happiness!
but one of the unexpected parts of living alone has been the unusual feeling of being...alone.
not in a loneliness sorta sense of the word, but a literally alone sense of it.
it's definitely not a bad thing,
sometimes i feel i'm too independent for my own good,
but there are certainly saturdays at home where i look at the clock at 2pm and i haven't actually spoken a word to another person that day.

considering my social butterfly-ness, it was a bit of an adjustment at first.
you never really realize how accustomed you are to bouncing good ideas, bad ideas, stress, happiness, frustration, etc. off another person in your home until there is no one there.
case in point: 
the other morning i woke up at 5:45am
{already a bad sign, my alarm doesn't go off until 7} 
totally freaked out about something i had to do that day.
it wasn't even a big deal, just a tiny meeting.
but within 15 minutes i had fully convinced myself that it was probably all going to go to hell in a handbasket and my week would be slaughtered into ruins.
i mean, dramatic much?
but these sort of instances happen a lot when you don't have another human to talk you down from that ledge of over-reactive terror.
now, music has always been a huge way of expressing my emotions.
i was the girl growing up who constantly saved all her allowance money to buy the newest cd by her favorite pop idol.
{does the KP obsession make a tiny bit more sense now?}
 however, it has become an even bigger part of my life on the solitary home front.
when i come home from a tough day at work, i turn on an alanis song.
good date? there's a song for that.
bad date? ummm...there are a few songs for that. 
trust me.

so today's favorite friday is dedicated to a few tunes i have recently been on the uhbsessive with, for various reasons.

what a good woman does - joy williams
go cubs go - steve goodman {duh, guys...duh!}
rockin' & rollin' - lennon and maisey - nashville soundtrack
if love was fair - ashley monroe
photograph - ed sheeran
put the gun down - zz ward
stand by you - rachel platten
thunder - leona lewis
we were us - keith urban & miranda lambert
wonderland - taylor swift
you learn - alanis morissette
house party - sam hunt
dime store cowgirl - kacey musgraves
black magic - little mix
it takes two - katy perry
4th of july - fall out boy

happy listening!
xoxo

Thursday, October 15, 2015

good vibrations.

it has been a year since i made the big and slightly out-of-my-character move here.
now, utah still is not my favorite place.
 and i have finally accepted that it just never will be.
it's not a good thing or a bad thing, but just a thing.
but don't worry, we are at peace.
mostly because i love the life i have been able to build here.
and while it has been thee roller-coaster of life roller-coaster years,
it has also opened my eyes to just how lucky i am to have the life i have,
and, the people i have in it.
near and, more especially, far.

i have never wanted for meaningful friendships in my life.
through grade school, junior high, high school, college...
i have always had good people around me.
and the rarity of this was never lost on me.
but i didn't truly appreciate it until this most recent move.
because while i love my faith & testimony with every part of my soul,
i just don't necessarily fit in with that stereotypical part of my culture.
{i never really have}
and unfortunately, i am now living in the epicenter of where a lot of those stereotypes stem from.
not all, but some.
and that is okay.
you do you. 
i do me.
 
that being said doesn't mean i don't miss the days after work where i can speed-dial a gal pal to overload on carbs & girl talk at dinner that night.
the kind where there are no limits to the conversation, 
you can say the things you are even afraid to admit to yourself,
you laugh so hard your insides feel stretched, 
and you know the person staring back at you from across the table just gets you without any explanation and is in your life to stay.
or i can go to a hockey game with a guy who i have known for ages and not have to worry about if he is going to "read into" this too much.
{perhaps almost equally as tragic is that real hockey doesn't exist in utah. oye!}

but when i got to work today and soul friend matt, who lives 2,000 miles away, asked if i wanted to do lunch, and i replied with a sassy comment about how that would certainly be nice,
little did i know that 4 hours later my favorite lunch would be delivered to my office.
reminding me that while yes, utah can be lonely at times, 
i am still the luckiest girl of all.
because how many people can say their friends unpromptedly think to send lunch on any given thursday?
and that while my tribe may not be "here" physically,
they are still the best part of me.
and distance is only a number.

xoxo.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

hey chicago what do ya say?







...the cubs are gonna win today.
xoxo

Monday, August 31, 2015

thee barbie dream house {finale}

last on thee barbie bachie pad tour,
thee bedroom
 
{gallery wall (from left): hand-stitched hanky: gift from paris; original alice in wonderland sketch: disneyland; tiffany & co bag; christian dior bag; bergdrof goodman anniversary bag; kate spade bag; confessions of a shopaholic movie poster: gift; broadway lights pop-out art piece: gift; shoes of carrie bradshaw's closet: limited edition print; taylor swift polaroid triple frame: 1989 cd pack; nicole kidman photoraph: instyle; reese witherspoon photograph: instyle; sarah jessica parker photograph: instlye; paris inspiration photograph: instyle-UK; framed card: gift; katy perry photograph: harper's bazar; magnolia bakery nyc bag}


{breakfast at tiffany's movie poster: art.com}

{honest hand & body lotion; pink chiffon body lotion: bath & body works; flower pin: nordstrom; jewelery tray: j.crew; pink sangria candle: bath & body works; i am that girl by alexis jones & sophia bush; instyle magazines; lamp: target}

{no joke, THIS is the closet they expect people to be able to fit all their clothes into. 
it's smaller than the front seat of my car! so that was fun.}

{signed katy perry photo: gift; confessions of a shopaholic bag: gift}

{bedding: shabby chic; pillows: ikea}


since this space of the apartment is the only one with any natural light,
i wanted to use that to my advantage and keep the room bright with white, 
rather than the cream base of the living room.
it also went along more with the carrie bradshaw vibe.
{which is also where the gallery wall behind the bed inspiration came from}
and while i know that cloud pillow is so out of place it's almost ridiculous,
it reminded me too much of katy perry's super bowl performance extraordinaire for me to pass up.
and sometimes you just gotta let a princess be, people.

now, if you so feel the urge in your life to create a gallery wall and have zero to zilch patience with home improvement projects like moi, 
i would highly recommend you zen out with just a plain, white, wall instead.
or something to that nature.
while i love, love, looooooveeee that wall with an almost real-to-life love,
it took one excrutiating trip to ikea,
{a place i hate more than kitten heels at a formal event}
and 5 hours of cutting, framing, hammering and rearranging to pull off.
silver lining? 
i learned a lot about myself that day,
mainly myself doesn't like diy anything.

but couldn't that view heal your soul on any bad day?
yah, mine, too.
because while the bathroom is weird and i've had to build 2 make-shift closets and box up all my winter clothes in the laundry room to fit my obsession with style into this place, 
that view is worth every penny i pay.
{especially because did you catch that? yes, i have my own washer & dryer}
it's not new york city, but it's home.
for now, atleast.
xoxo

Saturday, August 29, 2015

thee barbie dream house {part 4}

thee bathroom
i have to give the peeps who designed this apartment points for creativity,
but then subtract a few for sensibility when it comes to my bathroom.
my point being there is a big freakin' wall separating the toilet from the sink and shower.
i think the point was supposed to be that while one person showers another can use the other side.
but, the sink? away from the toilet? really?
i swear, those extra 6 steps to wash your hands DO make a difference.
mainly at 3:00am when you're half asleep, but you drink too much water {and diet coke} during the day to make it through the night without a bathroom break.
sorry, tmi.

but my lazy lamentation aside,
it does allow for a bit of extra space on the one side, in which i promptly created make-shift closet #2.
and simultaneously proved to myself that new york city living is actually probably super really meant for my soul.




{yes, i understand the calendar is from a year ago, but that picture? it stays}

 



 

in terms of decor, it's all hawks, all the time.
i definitely have wayyyyy too much blackhawks fan-abilia to not use it as decor,
but i also didn't want to turn my entire house into a tacky, sporty, man cave that a slightly prissy, but self-proclaimed fabulous girly-girl lives in.
so i threw it all in the bathroom.
i call that an inner-compromise, people.
of which i am slightly proud.

last, but not least, on this week's barbie tour...
the bedroom!
which isn't really a room,
{joys of that studio life}
but the back part of my 500 square foot space i pay way too much in rent every month to call my own.
it's a splash of me and a dash of carrie bradshaw with a cloud of a bed thrown in for good measure.
happy saturday, loves!
xoxo 

Friday, August 28, 2015

thee barbie dream house {part 3}

living room
i spend most of my time in the living room space,
so i wanted this part of the apartment to be comfy and pretty,
which is quite different than just pretty comfy
{it's okay if you're not laughing at my jokes, i'm not really either}

{artwork: various art stores; lamp: target; side table: antique from mom; couch: rc willey; pillows: target}

{bookshelf: target}
{and no my bookcase isn't crooked, i just can't take a straight picture...oops}


{glass slipper: gift; lladro: gift; hummel: gift; swarovski crystal swan: purchased in lucerne, switzerland}
{books: whatever you choose to be by ann romney; scatter my ashes at bergdorf goodman by bergdorf goodman; forget me not by dieter f. uchtdorf; pink think: becoming a woman in many uneasy lessons by lynn peril; the ellements of personal style: 25 modern fashion icons by joe zee and maggie bullock; sex and the city movie style guide by amy sohn; sex and the city 2 movie style guide by sarah jessica parker; castles of scotland by christina gambaro; katy perry by noam friedlander; scotland by j. renison; vanity fair: the portraits by graydon carter and david friend}


{painting: inslee hayes; louboutin christmas ornamanent: gardner village, utah}
let's have a brief, brief pause where we talk about this painting by thee ever fabulous inslee hayes.  if you notice to the left of the painting is a series of books by my favorite author, emily giffin.  each of the girls in the painting is the main character from each of those books, and each character is reading her book.
{the ones left out are from the one and only and the heart of the matter
because they had yet to be published}
it is one of my favorite things i have ever bought myself.  it also happened to be the inspiration behind my girlfriends and moi's contest entry to win a copy of something borrowed signed by the cast of the movie.
and yes, we won...which is why if you look closely you will see i own 2 copies of that book.


{books: except for the clearly newer books on the left, these are all older editions of some of my favorite classics gifted to me by my grandmother}


{queen chair: sam's club}


{study nook turned closet: target bath}


like i described in my first post, 
i wanted this room to be my own version of olivia pope's living room on scandal.
blues, greens, pinks, creams...with my own pops of color added in through the art,
because i neither save the world by day nor am i having an affair with the president of the united states by night, so it had to definitely still scream me.
sorry, liv.

the couch was our other find a lifetime from rc willey.
it was the end of a sectional someone had returned that started at $800.
by the time we got to it they slashed those dollar signs down to $99.
yes, we purchased that couch for less money than a flash sale at jet blue.
3 - jessica. 0 - ridiculously overpriced pretty furniture.

 again, i wanted my love for traveling to be a huge part of my home,
so the artwork above the couch represents my 5 favorite cities i have visited:
paris, new york, rome, london, edinburgh.
the thomas kinkade painting of peter pan & crew along the london skyline was a dear gift
from my brother & sister-in-law. 
{i cried when i opened it}
and the other painting is an original piece by bestie jo.
{i cried when i opened that one, too}
as for the painting of the salt lake temple, it was a gift from my parents this past christmas.
and while slc will never be my nyc, it is my current "c" that i am growing to love.
i still cannot get over how well it pulls in all the colors of the living room.

the obvious crown jewel of my apartment is that chair.
or my throne, as i like to call it.
this piece is 100% credited to my mom who found it one day at sam's club!
{turns out that place good for more than free lunch on a saturday}
i should also throw in a side note that my incredible parents gifted me all of the above furniture,
for which i am forever grateful.
my guests should be grateful too, because if it were up to my time & budget,
they would all be sitting on pillow cushions to watch hockey.

now to the closet space.
there is none in this apartment.
none. zilch. nada.
i mean, my "closet" fits about 2 shoes and a purse which if you know the kind of fashion baggage i carry around with me...anywhoo, i had to improvise.
so i turned the study nook into a closet with none other than 2 shower rods and a curtain.
it's only come crashing down on me a total of 3 times since i moved in so i consider it a rousing success.
{most days}

tomorrow we head to the bathroom.
which is split in two and was clearly designed by a man, but is decorated to say a whole lotta chelsea, chelsea i believe so i'm a happy camper.
xoxo.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

thee barbie dream house {part 2}

hi, hello again from thee barbie dream house kitchen!!
 to put things into perspective a little for y'all,
my apartment is about 500 square feet.
my only lament is, of course, the lack of closet space.
{but we will get to how i fixed that later}
while the singular theme of the kitchen is definitely parisian focused, 
the front part of my house is filled with various mementos from my travels to all my favorite cities.


{pink cookware set: target breast cancer awareness; dish towels: target}

 {plug-in: bath & body works (usually smells like anything cupcakey or caramely); blackhawks toaster: gift; 
 daily flip shoe calendar: gift}


{paris photograph: art.com; paris map bulletin board: target; eiffel tower cups: target valentine's day; hello kitty stuffies: gifts; bon jour momento box: thrift store}



{bar chairs: rc willey home furnishings}

{tea box: gift; jane austen quote mug: chattsworth house in england; diet coke ornament: gift; i heart ny suckers: gift; teapot: antique from mom; books: barnes & noble; eiffel tower: local dumpster}


{cubbies pig: target christmas (girlfriend's hats change with the sporting seasons, obviously)}



the crowning glory of the kitchen is clearly the shoe rack,
and i have to admit the idea was one hundred percent my father's.
considering carrie bradshaw kept sweaters in her stove, i just figure it's what all the best city gals do these days.
and let me tell ya, it's also a great conversation ice breaker!
when people come to visit they always want to talk about the shoes,
and i don't know about you, but i feel like the greatest conversations in the world revolve around fabulous footwear.

but the other part of my kitchen that i am muy proud of are those bar chairs.
i was given a friendly piece of advice to visit the "gently damaged" section of rc willey when it came time to furnish my space.
these chairs apparently have a scratch on each of them,
{in a place i have still yet to find}
and therefore were marked down from $200 a piece to $50 a piece!
i mean, i practically cried for joy when the salesman insisted it wasn't a joke.

on that front, one of the best pieces of decorating advice i was ever given is to build your style over time.
it seems very simple, but i think it's also very easy to get swept up in wanting everything to be complete right now.
for those with unlimited hours and budget, that time probably goes a bit more speedily.
however, i am neither so most of the decor pieces in my house,
{ex: bulletin board, paris photo, cookware set, wall art, etc}
are things i've accumulated over the past 5 years or so.
and in terms of that iron eiffel tower, items i dug out of someone else's trashcan.
you gotta go after what you want in this world, people!

my decor style isn't, what you would call, "trendy".
i wanted thee barbie bachy pad to look like my personality exploded all over it,
but in the most refined, yet homey way possible.
therefore a lot of what is out there right now in terms of decor doesn't fit me.
i'm not a minimalist by any means,
{clearly}
and too much white makes me feel like i'm watching my trashy tv shows in the waiting room of a hospital.
{yuck}
in fact, the only "new" items i bought to decorate the kitchen were the bar chairs, that glorious pig {if southern women can have roosters, i can have a pig} and the dishtowels.
which means my house will probably always be an ongoing project.
yay? yay...
{insert monkey covered eyes emoji here}

next up on the home post docket is thee living area.
olivia pope's got nothin' on me here.
until tomorrow...
xoxo

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

thee barbie dream house {part 1}

 a while back one of my favorite reader friends {ms. renee} asked me to do a post on the decor in my apartment.
and in case you needed a reminder, 
here is reason 54928381 why i could never be a professional blogger.
because i am FINALLY doing this post 6 months later.
oye!
now, since there is lots of decor to discuss and loads of pictures to show,
this will be more a series of posts throughout week so that you aren't scrolling for the next 2 hours of your life.
{i try my best to think of others.}

it's a surprise to no one that i am a woman with many interests.
i can play it classy, heaven knows i can play it sassy, i love sports and i love lots of color.
when i'm more of a grownup i know i want lots of whites with pops of color and all that martha stewart living sorta stuff in my home,
but for now...i wanted to create the ultimate bachelorette pad while i still could.

so i turned to my two favorite television characters {i mean, wouldn't you?} to kick off thee inspiration:
carrie bradshaw & olivia pope. 
while i think we can safely assume these two gals wouldn't get along if they met in person,
{type A olivia and free spirit carrie? hard pass}
the vibe of both their apartments plays along the same lines of classy, but eclectic.

while doing my research, i read that the set decorator for scandal said that when making olivia's apartment they wanted it to be far different from who she was to the outside world.
in her job she maintains control and power, but in her home she doesn't have to put up those walls.
they wanted the space to be warm and inviting; almost a little unexpected when you finally see it compared to where you think she would live.

and y'all know carrie bradshaw's vibe says nothing but: big city, tiny space, fabulously single gal.
and thus the decorating began...

i knew to go along with ms. pope's vibe, i wanted the living room area and kitchen to be combos of cream and teal with blush pink as more of an accent color.
to go along with ms. bradshaw's vibe, i knew i wanted a gallery wall behind my bed, the closet space to be part of the decor and my books shelved everywhere around the apartment.
and to go along with the moi vibe, i wanted the bathroom to be all blackhawks.
duh.

we will kick off the grand tour tomorrow in my most useful area of the house:
my kitchen.
execept it's not useful because i still don't cook, people,
but i managed to make it look super pretty anyway, so there's that.
see ya then!
xoxo

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

august rush.

life is moving one bajillion miles a minute.
and i have mucho to update this space on...
bestie j's all-out-incredible wedding weekend
concerting with shania twain
FINALLY posting pictures of my apartment for reader renee
sharing a super-FAB new makeup line
that "pretty little liars" finale {seriously...cece!?!}
and the last days of summer in the city.

however, thee charlotte to my carrie {and bff for 17 years} is coming to stay with me tomorrow for FOUR whole days and i have a pile of files on my desk at work that needs to be addressed,
a target trip to make,
a dinner date to catch,
a meeting for my women's organization to attend,
and a nasty cold to get over before her arrival in t-24 hours,
so all of the above will remain on hold for just a titch longer.

happiest of weeks, loves!
xoxo

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

happy 1000!

so we have a tiny celebration in order because this is, in fact, 
our ONE THOUSANDTH blog post together, loves!

much has changed in this space since i started up way back when.
my scenery has flipped and flopped on a few occasions,
people have come and people have gone and  people have stayed,
i've been given the highest of highs and the lowest of lows all smashed between the words of these past 1000 updates.
but most of all, i have changed.
i am not the girl i once was,
the roller-coasters of life have definitely given me reason to evolve, 
but always for the better in the end.
as the great diane von furstenberg once said,
"i didn't really know what i wanted to do, 
but i knew the woman i wanted to become."

now, i've been saving this anniversary number post to express how much fun i have had on my most recent life adventure of being a member of the launch team for {thee ever darling} candace cameron bure's new book, 
Dancing Through Life: Steps of Courage and Conviction. 

can i tell y'all how refreshing it has been to work with a team of people centered around so much positivity?
to support a book about being faithful and true to who you want to be and standing firm in that knowledge amidst a world where negativity and ulterior pressures are far too easily encountered?
and even more, to promote a woman who knows exactly who she is and, gracefully, makes no excuses for it. 

in knowing this anniversary post was coming up right around thee anniversary of me packing up my california gurl life last year and moving to salt lake on nothing but a literal prayer to guide me,
i realized that while i could give you a laundry list of all the things utah certainly is NOT,
{especially in comparison to the city i REALLY want to be living in...oh hey new york!}
this move was the answer to my biggest prayer of all:
searching for the opportunity to further grow into the kind of woman i've always wanted to become.

it hasn't been easy.
in fact, it has been the toughest year of my life.
but isn't it funny how the things that are often the toughest are also often those that bring us the most happiness?
because in between the trials and the necessary growth outside of my {already somewhat outrageous} comfort zone,
i have never been happier.
i have never felt more like the woman i'm striving to be.
i have never felt closer to God.
and i have never been more sure of the fact that i am {finally} exactly where i am supposed to be.

so in case you might be sitting tonight in the vaguely lost shoes i was situated in a year ago,
{although i'm sure they are very sparkly & cute}
can i give you a titch of advice?
always choose the adventure.
because i promise you that adventure will take you right out of your comfort zone,
and along the way to where you've always wanted to go.

xoxo. 

This post was inspired by Candace Cameron Bure’s new book, Dancing Through Life: Steps of Courage and Conviction
Order your copy of #DancingThroughLife today!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

honestly though...

i have finally come to the realization that i am literally allergic to utah.
while my mind has finally accepted the fact that i moved back here,
{it still makes me a little nauseated to admit}
my body remains in full rejection mode.

so after my worst day of non-stop scratching & itching yet,
i did what any 21st century gal would do and took to twitter to ask what the best get-rid-of-that-itch-fast cure was.
one of my favorite twitter birdies let me in on her love for the honest co.
 i mean, i can't lie, my celebrity culture lovin' self has been dying to try these products, 
they just are usually more relevant to ladies with children.
but, aha!, this was my perfect excuse.
so i hopped on over to target, 
wandered the baby aisle, 
handed over my $10, 
and lathered my life in this face + body lotion before going to bed that night.
{it smells so fresh & yummy be sure to allow plenty of time to just sniff the bottle}
{no lie} 

i woke up the next morning without an itch in site.
and bonus, the consistency is so thin and smooth that a little bit truly goes a long way.
{for those of you who cringed at the price tag}
no surprise that jessica alba really knows what she is doing.
must be something with that first name...
xoxo.

Monday, July 27, 2015

monday musings.

mondays are tough.
especially mondays after a perfectly grand vacation in the california sun with thee ones i love most in this world.
{but more on that later}

today my mind is wandering in no particular order:

facebook wedding groups. 
i don't respond to them. 
if you don't know me well enough to have my number and text me for my address, i probably shouldn't be invited to your wedding.
{please note: i'm just super old-lady-old-fashioned and it's okay if you're rolling your eyes at me right now, i also don't believe in wedding invitations with computer printed labels so...i'll just go sit at my own lunch table now.}

travel.
i broke up with delta airlines last night. 
after a plane with a broken engine, no gas, no air conditioning and a duck-taped tray table, i'm feeling pretty confident about my decision.

diet coke.
still my nectar of life.

 salt lake.

i love living in a city.
{i always put "slash-town" because i don't think new yorkers would call what we have here a city.}
anywhoo, i love it here, minus the ill-timed lights and the damn trax that is always ruining my walking girl groove.

dating.
i'm willing to hire someone who looks like me and talks like me and has a pretty decent hair flip down to start going on first dates for me. then i will just jump in once you have weeded all the truly bad ones out. like i told my mother last week, it's pretty much like a job interview with food attached. 

nordstrom anniversary sale.
i haven't touched it this year! 
i'm in this grown-up phase of life called "budgeting & planning ahead"...considering you can see nordstrom from my bedroom window i feel i have earned a reward for this kind of self control. except my reward is usually going to nordstrom. #circleoflife 

 august.

can i gush for a milli-second? 
this month i get to:
go back to ca & be in my bestie's wedding.
have my bffffff come stay with me for a week
have my chi-town bestie come stay with me for a weekend.
have my mom come into town.
go see taylor swift with above referenced mother.
okay, july...i'm sorta done with you now.

xoxo. 

{photo via pinterest}

Sunday, July 26, 2015

i've got a blank space, baby.

welcome new & old friends.
now that yours truly is back to blogging, 
i've been asked on numerous occasions about this space becoming a style blog.
fashion certainly has always been an integral part of my personality,
and while i will share plenty of outfits and such,
{because who doesn't love a good skirt?}
this is not, and most likely will not ever be, a style blog.
{sorry!}
this is also not a sponsored blog.
anything i rave on and on about here is 100% because i love it, 
not because someone is loving me to love it.

so, what is this then?
one part a way of my mother knowing i'm still alive out here in my teeny, tiny, city/town that i live in.
and one part a way of sharing positivity from my tiny corner of the world, 
while still keeping certain parts of my life off limits.

because if there is one thing our society is far too comfy with these days,
it's the idea of over-sharing personal information across the social media board.
i'm a fairly private gal and intend on keeping it that way.

so here's a cheers to a new chapter in thee bergdorf life.
feel free to always express opinions and thoughts,
even if they do not coincide with mine.
however, as my new favorite saying would state:
keep it pretty, please.

xoxo

Monday, July 20, 2015

no makeup monday.

{no makeup. no filter. insert confused emoji here.} 

when your bestie is getting married in 3 weeks,
and you have to stand in front of everyone in thee prettiest cream cocktail dress 
nordstrom has released this year,
and it's like a gathering of so-cal's beautiful of beautiful people,
you have to take certain life measures to ensure bridesmaid success:

2 eliptical seshies a day. 
{who invented the idea of climbing to nowhere?}
tomato snacks all around. 
{gag me}
only curl your hair once a week.
{this is tough because my natural hair is naturally awful}
wear the least amount of makeup possible to give that summah-time skin room to breathe.
{i feel a bit granola-y}
and drink more water than diet coke.
{my body has no idea what's going on, really}

on the super bright side,
sleeping in every morning is a good trade.
and very few people in this world love a good wedding more than moi.

can't wait to party the weekend away j & b.
xoxo.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

let's dance.

so this happened yesterday...

now, i didn't tell anyone,
 {not even my mother}  
that i had applied for this a few weeks back.
because contrary to popular belief there is still a tiny part of me that fears rejection.
and i didn't want anyone to:
a) know i was reaching THIS high on the ladder,
and
b) feel sorry for me if it didn't pan out.

even more of a story?
i was climbing to the middle of nowhere on the elliptical yesterday when i got an email from Cameron's team manager asking me if i had received the email to join the team and if i would be able to help.
ummm...let's talk about junk mail settings for a minute?
because that's exactly where the email from her had gone FIVE days earlier.
so after i got over what an absolute technological failure i appeared to be 
{ironic considering this position is about being technilogically saavy}
i emailed her back with apologies & acceptance.

needless to say i'm pretty jazzed.
i mean, who didn't want to be dj tanner growing up?
but also, i have long admired this lady and her ability to navigate our messy world with nothing less than class.
{and, of course, a little bit of sass}
 

 y'all can check out news on the book, 
which hits stores august 1st,
and even better, read the first chapter {here}.

so put on your dancin' shoes,
and bounce back for more updates and fun news.
xoxo