Tuesday, June 10, 2014

fighting the good fight.

dating.
some of us hate it. some of us love it. 
if you are me, you avoid the dating game at all costs and just wait for things to fall into your lap.
well, i finally decided i was going to be a bit more pro-active about it. not for the sake of really finding my forever companion right now,
but more so for the sake of getting over my severe commitment issues so when I DO find that person i can see forever with...i don't cut and run.
which i usually do that...the running thing.
and as per the usual in life when you welcome something with open arms it runs at you so fast you don't really know what hit you until you are knee deep in the middle of it all.
or something like that.

so here i am. 
knee deep.
a person who now says yes instead of no
{went on 4 in one week - are you proud or are you proud?}
and boy oh boy {no pun intended} do i have stories to tell.

but for today let's just start with a general lesson:
there is good. there is bad. and there is "dear gracious get me out of this dinner" bad.
i have had all three.
more of the later than the former, but you only need one person to rock your world in the end so i guess this is to be expected.
however, the consistent silver lining to always saying yes, is that you begin to figure out the things that will get you continually saying yes, and the things that will have you saying no no no, amy whinehouse style.
here are my tips...

NO:
you use wayyyy too many emojis in text messages. 
emojis are my territory so don't take that away from me. 
kthxbye.

you sit at dinner and talk about the gym.
i mean, i know i'm gonna have to run extra miles tomorrow to work off this pasta but am i going to announce that to you? no.
i have two eyes and i can see your physique, it doesn't make you any more sexy to point that out to me.
moving on...

you have no direction in life.
i tend to have tooooo much direction, so chances are you plus me is not going to equal a very compatible us on this one.

you don't like hockey.
if you don't like it - fine.  you're wrong, but fine.  
just don't tell me about it. k?

you think more of yourself than your own mother does.
everyone's mom thinks they are great, as it should be.
so when you love yourself more than her, we have a problem.
i once had a conversation with a gentleman who told me he was the youngest elected official in his county and then followed it up with "but don't let that make you treat me any differently".
hard pass.

YES:
plan something.
anything. honestly i am a 100% pleasable person.
keep it simple; we are ALL more comfortable that way. 
the only way you will disappoint me is if you have nothing planned when i get in the car.
win. win.

dinner is always nice.
i had one potential suitor make me the most delicious dinner - TWICE.
then sit and watch hockey with me.
and let me scream when the hawks scored.
and tried to calm me down when the other team tied it.
and scream again when the hawks won.
annnnddd...well, you get it.
things didn't work in the long run, but this bullet point alone made me try every possible combination in my head to get it to work.

be honest.
i can't read your mind, and you can't read mine so why should we try?
i recently told a guy i just wanted to be friends,
he said he could go in that direction.
turns out, he couldn't be anything less than more than friends and so that was the end of that.
but you know what?
he was honest.

remember the turtle won the race.
it's not the less frustrating of the paces, but in my experience it is the one that pays off.
i don't have to see you everyday, we aren't dating we are just dating.
{if that makes any sense.}
so slow your roll and let's just see what happens.

more dates to come this week...
i will keep y'all in the loop.
here's to hoping the sun & stars align...eventually.
xoxo.

2 comments:

  1. Have you read the book 31 Dates in 31 Days? It's written by a girl that I was in a singles ward with several years ago. Her name is Tamara Duricka Johnson. you should check it out. :) I thought of it when I read this!

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  2. #hardpass. That made me lol. This is great. (Dating is not.)

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