Tuesday, June 4, 2013

goodnight moon.

oh hey there, it's me.
remember that vacation i went on?
well, it was great.
but it also gave way to absolutely no sleep.
like, we are talking 2 hours a night MAX.
and then we got home really late and i bounced right up to go to work at 6am the next morning and haven't stopped since.
i am exhausted.
except, that seems like an understatement.
do we know of a stronger word for exhausted?

and it's not just a lack of sleep type thing, 
it's kind of a life type thing.
i am absolutely worn out.
i think i have, what do they call it?
hit a wall...
i didn't ever really know what that meant, 
but now i sorta think i do.
this isn't a depressed thing really, but just a...worn out thing.
where everything in your life requires something of you.
and you have to be there.
even more, you WANT to be there because you are you.
and your joy comes from the joy of those around you.
so you put a happy smile on your face.
and encourage and support and love and handle it all.
not perfectly, but in heels and that's sort of the same thing.

but sometimes at the end of the day i sit down and think,
when is it my turn?

...and THAT, right there, is when the exhaustion settles.
because i am perfectly imperfect at not letting people in.
i don't let people detract from what they do in their lives to help mine.
it just seems so unnecessary to me.
except it's not really.
because here i am worn out. and tired. 
and frustrated. and stressed.
and i just need someone to say the right words.
whatever they may be...

here is to a brighter, little less sleepy tomorrow!

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