Thursday, January 31, 2013

thee most wonderful time of the year.

hockey season has officially started loves.
i don't know about you, but this is the one time a year i allow myself to shed my jackie o. wannabe attitude and go full throttle into the screaming, jumping, waving arms and occasionally cussing throttles of sports.
don't get me wrong, me and my high heels love all the games, but we love hockey the best.
although my team lives thousands of miles away in the great city of chicago {blackhawks for lyfe},
my second favorite team lives just up the street from me and thee lil bro and i were lucky enough to snatch tickets to the sold out opening night.

everyone had free Selanne t-shirts waiting for them on their seats and orange glow swords.

due to some extremely cool people we know we got upgraded to the 6th row.

and these are the kinds of conversations i have with a best friend while watching.
she gets me people, she really gets me.

the ducks lost but that's because the refs were deaf, dumb and blind. as referenced above.
however, i'm a firm believer that any game in which blood lands on the ice is a game not to be missed.
xoxo.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

two black cadillacs.

quite possibly my favorite carrie underwood song ever.

ps- who picks out her shoes?
i need to find them for a consult stat.
xoxo

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

drumroll puuhhlease...

it's award season loves.
the golden globes kicked off better than i could have planned had i been in charge my self.
anne hathaway wins.
hugh jackman wins.
les miserables wins.
and amanda seyfried showed up in this...
officially my best dress of the night.
and why am i in obsession mode over this?  
because for the first half of the night i hated it.
and then it suddenly hit me that this works so much because it was such a risk.  the brooch at the top saves it from being just another cleavage bearing cut out dress.  the sheer lace keeps it from being something my grandmother would keep in her closet.  and the skirt completes the princess look i am always a sucker for.

oscar season, i do believe we are ready for you.
xoxo.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

one year older & wiser too.

happiest of happy birthdays to my darling Miss McW.
she makes the work days brighter and the weekends funner. 
{totally a word}
she is the queen of all things funny.
the keeper of all things good and kind and nice.
and don't even get me started on her slumber party throwing skills, thanks to her we all have matching onesies.

so happy day to you dear friend.
thanks for being who you are and letting me be who i am and making my world a better place.
xoxo.

Friday, January 4, 2013

and so it goes.

let's back up life a bit prior to my heart full of love for mr. redmayne, to my heart full of everything but love on new year's eve. triple ugh.
guys, i am so not a sulker.  atleast not outwardly so.
to those who don't know me best i seem to be in an unnaturally happy mood at all times.
but this past new year's eve was tough; a mood that would have been visable to even the strangest of strangers.
i have never been a girl to be defined by who is or is not in my life.
i would be myself in a room full of 1000, i would be myself in a room of just me.
i am grateful for that strength my parents gave me.
but when you are stuck with nothing but couples all around on a holiday sealed with a kiss, let me assure you...the singledom sticks out like patchouli in a room full of chanel.

i come from a culture where falling in love and marrying young is more so an expectation rather than simply being common.
it seems more frequently viewed as a sure sign of success to some; don't let me count how many times people give me that "i'm so sorry for your loss" look when i arrive at yet another event clutching a bedazzled purse rather than another hand.
the thing is, i'm not sorry, because i never doubt it will come.
and with each passing year i realize all the reasons why it hasn't been my turn yet.
my college degree, the people that have become my people, the jobs i have had, the places i have seen, experiences that have added those little pieces to me that would never have been and i would never give back.
but that doesn't mean the times don't come where it just hurts to be alone.
and i think, for me atleast, it is a pain of impatience more than anything.
i don't question being alone forever, 
i question the timing of it all.
so when someone kindly says, "oh your time will come, don't you worry," i understand they are trying to add comfort, but it adds nothing to what i already know.
and ends up hurting more than it helps.
now if you can tell me when...let's talk.

and then i stumbled upon the new year's post of one of my FAVORITE brunettes across the country of whom i have never met, but i feel linked by some sort of kindred spirit-ness.
you can read her blog {here}
and i so highly recommend you do!
but in terms of my mental dilemma she, as she usually so perfectly does, sums it all up:

"it was okay to be twenty-three and single and failing but fighting the good fight. it was okay to be twenty-three and writing about how most days i felt more like a disaster than anything else. and it was okay to be twenty-four and twenty-five and still all those things.

somehow though, it doesn't feel okay to be twenty-seven and in this place--stuck in this metaphorical rut. or, well, actual rut.
and so there's a little embarrassment. shame, even.
and it gets harder to write.

but then i think about writing and i think about the length of a story. and about how this one's just a little bit longer than others. and i wrap myself up in that notion and keep going. because you have to. you simply have to keep going.

you know, i still think about the A train. often, i do. about how much i hated it. about how dirty it was: the dim lighting, the putrid color of the seats. and i think about how all those years on the A train, made for my experience on the F. i love the F train. absolutely adore it. i forgive it for much and often. for when it gets stuck at York street, or Jay St-Metrotech. for how it sometimes inches between Bergen and Carroll.
it is not lost on me that i love the F so much precisely because i so deeply loathed the A.

when life begins to chug it will mean more for this period in which it seemed so very stuck.

change. good change. forward movement.

and when i finally meet the man i choose to spend my life with it will mean more for each and every suitcase i trudged home for christmas, alone. it will mean more for these ambiguous years in which i learned to do everything myself: installing the air conditioning and paying the bills and moving into a fourth-floor walk up without a man in sight. it will mean more for that one night when at two in the morning i had to crush the maggots beneath my bed, one by one. more for the time when half-asleep i rose from bed to tether the roof's door to the stairwell with little more than yellow twine because the wind was banging into it in such a way i was sure the sky was falling.

it will all mean more for these years in which i got so good at maneuvering by myself that i began to wonder if i wasn't too far gone to make room for someone else.

change. it will come. like a thief in the night. taking and bringing both good and bad."

amen.
xoxo. 

{photo found on pinterest!}

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

a heart full of love.

i don't know if you have taken notice, but i am pretty certain victor hugo had a premonition about the life and looks of eddie redmayne and in that very instance wrote the character of Marius so that 151 years later we can be inspired with a heart full of true love during that usually annoying song that has now become one you never want to end.
oh, sorry...maybe that is just me?

if smitten had a not so dictionarial term my feelings could fill the void.
it's like he is God's gift for those of us secretly, or not so secretly, in love with the underaged vocal stylings of one direction.
cute, british, sings like a dream, hair to keep you in awe for days.
and after reading {this} article in the new york times, i am almost fully convinced he is of a dying breed of gentelman who don't really exist except in hollywood. 
usually on screen, but this time off of it.
pays for dinner. {i don't even know what that is anymore}
models for burberry. {my kryptonite in mens clothing}
completely color-blind. {flaws are endearing guys}
refuses to hire an assistant. {humble}
wins tony awards. {talent}
goes out shopping looking like this. {pocket square much?}
already has a girlfriend. {commitment is a rare commodity}

if you haven't headed out from the holidays to see Les Mis yet, we might have to start with the clearly bigger fish to fry in this scenario.
but if you have, i assume you are already rockin this same boat with me.
am i right, or am i right?
xoxo.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013

i think the really great thing about having a really terrible new years eve,
is that things can only go up from there...right?
and despite the minor hiccup of a start,
i have this gut feeling 2013 is going to be oh so sweet.
don't you?
xoxo. 

{photo courtesy of pinterest}