Thursday, July 12, 2012

throw your sticks and your stones.

{photo via pinterest via my 2nd fav audrey movie, roman holiday}

my mormon bachelor episode is up loves!
in case you missed the memo...oh boy.
never in my life did i suspect that my so called un-attractiveness would become a hot topic of discussion amongst a vast group of people.
it's strange. 
it's a bit invasive. 
it is what it is.
it's what i agreed to...remember that, please.

yesterday i received LOTS of messages and texts and calls and emails regarding what was/wasn't said on the episode and i just kept quiet.
i kept quiet until i knew what my exact opinion was.
because, heaven knows i always have one,
and here it is...
i'm not going to pretend i am this extreme ultra breed of girl who doesn't give a crap what people think or say about her, because we all do.
and if a girl tells you she doesn't, she is lying...
run for those hills brother!
girls are girls and we are far too often burdened with a little thing called insecurity.
don't get me wrong, i will never change who i am to please someone else's vision of who they think i ought to be.
my plague of insecurity doesn't run that deep.
but it does run as deep as vulnerability.
i may not show it at times, but i promise's there.

so when i saw the episode was posted and the not so classily put comment came to light i did what any girl would have done...i cried.
yep, that's right...i cried.
i'm not saying it was a sobfest,
no need to call in the flood watch.
but there was a significant amount of tears.
remember, i'm not here to make you worship my feet, 
i am here to give you my honest reaction.
and that was my first reaction.

then i got to thinking...
when you do something in the public eye, especially date, you have to be ready for 3 opinions:
one, the opinion of the person you are on a date with.
two, the opinions of the masses of people who comment on the date you were on that you don't know, and sometimes, thankfully, never will.
and three, the opinion you have of yourself.
and if number three is not solid and nurtured and loved, 
heaven help you when numbers one and two attack.
but he is allowed to have an opinion.
i am thankful that he does.
would i have said it with a little more tact?
i hope to the dear heavens, yes.
but that's about the only thing i would change in the situation.

because i realized...
the great thing about this life is you can be
anyone you want to be.
and, if you so choose, you can pay someone a pretty penny to make you look anyway you want to look.
and this is me.
not by accident, but rather by choice.
i know who i am.
i am happy with who i am.
i love who i am.
i am nowhere near perfect.
my life is just as messy as yours and at some points,
even more so.
but i have very consciously made myself into the person i am today.
i assure you all...i did not become this quirky red headed, hockey cheerin, katy perry lovin lady by dumb luck.
and that's all there is to it.

i appreciate the support.
i appreciate the many defenses put up in my name.
i am humbled by the kind words.
i don't care to publicly state my opinion on the other words spoken.
 but one person's opinion, is in fact...just an opinion.
one i happen to not agree with.

so let's be classy. 
let's stay sassy. 
and let's let it go.


  1. Jess, you're an absolute angel to discuss this with such class. His comments were rude and unnecessary. You are BEAUTIFUL with an amazing personality to boot. Chris is missing out on something great. Love you friend! Stay strong and confident in yourself; that resilient attitude you have is so inspiring!

  2. Hi Jessica, I've never met you, but I think you and your post are fantastic. Way to keep it classy!

  3. There are more important things in life than him and his opinion of what makes a girl beautiful.

    Much love. xoxoxo

  4. I don't know you, but I loved your blog post (honest and classy). Thanks for this.

  5. What a beautiful and classy response, Jessica! Thanks for being an inspiration and positive role model, even when you probably we not expecting to be.

  6. You are adorable! What an awesome blog post! Perfectly said!

  7. We loved hearing your thoughts on the matter. You are classy and sassy Sista Jessica.

  8. such a classy and honest response. thanks for sharing it. all i kept thinking when i read it was, "you go girl". you're awesome.

  9. Well said! I love you friend! :)

  10. Way to be. Classy and sassy.