Monday, July 9, 2012

that one time...

so now that i've run a 1/2 marathon, i am officially a runner.
right?  wrong.
but someone should have told me that before i went off trying to become the next jackie joyner kersee.
case in point...
S convinced me to join the corona del mar running group.
i figured...hey! why not?
running around the beach with one of my best friends, in one of my favorite little towns...there isn't much more to life than that.

so off we went one tuesday night just a runnin', kinda in that forest gump sort of way.
except very quickly into it i started to not feel so well.
i figured my body was in shock because i was actually making it exercise and i just needed to suck it up and keep on going.
except, the more i kept on keepin on, the worse i felt.
so once we made it to our first rest point, i told S i was going to turn around and head back to the cars.
i had plans for the night and at my current speed, it would take me forever and a day to get back.
but before i headed back, i decided to stop at the bathroom.
sorry, tmi...

now these were certified beach bathrooms, which means there was nothing certified about them.
they were disgusting and seaweedy and sandy and grotesque.
but i'm a big girl and can handle things like that.
so as i was bending over to put paper all over that germ infested seat, my key {currently stuffed in my bra} slipped out and INTO the toilet.
now, i am in the midst of trying this new way of living called,
not panicking the second something doesn't go as planned.
it isn't easy loves, let me tell you!
regardless, i made the conscious effort to not go into cray-cray mode. i stayed uncharacteristically calm and tried to figure out a way to fish the key out.
one thing i knew for certain,
my hand was not going down there.
or was it?
well, before i could even decide if i was going to cross that line, a little thing called autoflush made the decision for me.
usually something i am quite grateful for as it keeps me from having to decide if i am going to hand of foot the toilet flusher.
{oh don't pretend you don't think the same way}
i'm sorry, but what self-respecting beach bathroom has auto flush?!?! like, my bathroom at work doesn't even have this very 21st century feature.
i mean, this is practically a thing of LUXURY we are talking about. yet, the beach bathrooms that probably carry more STDs than courtney love herself, are somewhat miraculously equipped with it?
excuse me, come again?
anyway, there went my key.

so there i was, stranded at the beach, with no key to my car and, of course, no phone to call for help.
at this point i was either gonna start to cry or laugh and honestly, i started laughing...well, and running.
luckily i got so lost it was ridiculous and by the time i made it back to my car the running group was just arriving and dear friend S did what good, dear friends do...
she bought me ice cream while we sat on a bench and figured out my life's latest problem.

needless to say the night ended after lots of laughs, some tears, finally getting into my car, and buying a dozen Sprinkles cupcakes to make up for my completely un-intentional stand-up of thee evening plans.
luckily, he was quite forgiving.

true story.

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