Saturday, June 9, 2012

run forest run.

if you follow me on the twitter or facebook it is of no news to you that last weekend S and moi ventured down south to the great city of San Diego to run the Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon.
and guess the hell what?!?!
it was far and away thee hardest thing i have ever done in my life, and not surprisingly, one of thee most rewarding.

i read an article earlier this year in which the author summed up her focus of life in 5 powerful words...
i can do hard things 
to anyone who thinks they can't, here is a not very funny, emotional, out of this world ridiculous travel log of my thoughts during the jog.
sorry if there is some cursing.
sorry if there is some cringing.
sorry if it gets boring.
all sorts of sorts go on in your mind when there is nothing but you, music, a pair of feet and 13.1 miles of open road to conquer...

first of all, waking up at 4:15 in the morning is never acceptable. the last time i did this was to meet oprah and i mean, okay, that was acceptable, it's oprah.
i can't even eat a banana. my body hates me right now. imagine what it's going to do when it gets the news we have 13 miles to run. eek!
on the bus to downtown these people are serious about life. 
wait, was i supposed to take this thing seriously? i think i missed that memo.
what's with all the space blankets? we are in southern california, this isn't cold. on the other hand if that is going to somehow make me run faster, pass the oversized tin foil my way.
does my hair look good? because i need it to be lookin' fabulous. it's the only thing i can control right now.
bag checked. no turning back.  it's soon to be 13.1 miles away from me...and i have to get it back somehow.  i guess that means i'm runnin.
i may be a "marathoner" now but i still have my pride...i don't do port-a-potties.
time to line up, we are choral 30 which means we have a while to go before they count us down.
so that "while" didn't last very long, how are we at 27 already?
can i vomit right now all over these people's fancy running shoes and get out of this?
would a hot paramedic come and save me? maybe this is my best option.
choral #28...california gurls begins over the loud speaker. i think someone is trying to tell me something. 
choral #29.
and it's our turn.  here goes nothin.
mile #1 down. that wasn't so bad.
i feel like i have been running for a good while now, they must only be doing mile markers every few miles.  i am at least 3 miles into this now. this is fun!
mile marker #2. uhhhhhhh...
wait, did they re-measure the mile? because these are longer than i ever remember in training.
training? what training...who am i kidding!
okay, passing an older lady walking in jeans...if she can do this damn thing so can i.
mile marker #3 - officially finished the 5K...wait, was there a 5K option in this race?  why didn't anyone tell me!
balboa park is totally gorgeous.  and these dr. seuss cheerleaders on the side are super cutesies. this ain't so bad.
freeway entrance? we are running on a freeway?!? i'm suddenly very confused about my life and why i ever wanted to do this.
mile #4 - done.
she has cute shoes. i should probably compliment her on them. it's the least i can do, i mean, since i am going to pass her right now.
love the irony in the "scenic route" markers along the freeway. 
eff the scenery.
mile #5 - done.
seeing cars drive by like isn't very motivational.  i feel i am running at least 65 mph but their passing me seems to prove me different.
am i on mile 5 or 6? 6 definitely 6. which means next marker i am half way done. this is great!
that mile marker looks awfully much like a 6 instead of 7.  oh, it is a 6.
mile #6 - done.
don't cry jessica.
okay, you can cry a little. you can walk too.
or just cry alot. if someone asks blame it on the "scenery" along the scenic route.
 this is the worst mile of my life.
did i just start my period?
i can't even check because 1.) if i stop i will never start again and 2.) what kind of person would that make me if i had a story about starting my period in a porta-potty? i mean, i still have my standards people.
i thought cute guys ran these things...where are all the men?!?!
mile #7 - done.
oh i'm sorry, you want me to go UPHILL to get off this freeway? who planned this out anyway...
all these people with signs on the side of the road cheering me on clearly know how special i am.
but for realsies, they are amazing. bless them. please. 
mile #8 - done.
running along a golf course now, i have never been so jealous of old men who golf early on saturday mornings in my entire life.
go-go gel juice packet time! the dolla makes me holla honey boo boo.
ewww. that was the worst thing i have ever tasted in my life.
i can't lie, littering w/o getting in trouble is more fun right now than it should be.
mile #9 - done.
this mile smells like bathroom.
dj is playing YMCA along the side of the road. so yes, i will be the girl that runs with her hands up in the air and wave em around like i just don't care.
obvs, the go-go gel is working.
mile # 10 - done.
i'm sorry, they have KAREOKE at mile marker #10?!?!?!?!?  let's stop and play. slowing down...uh no, let's just keep going and finish this freakin thing.
3 miles left...that is an entire 5K still...suddenly the tears are coming back again.
jessica bradley, you can do this. wait, did i just say that out loud?!? i guess i need to run faster so i don't have to stay by these people and be the crazy girl who talks to herself.
tsa is handing out water with flamingos on their heads. i didn't know they had senses of humor.  if i ever make it out of this i will be sure to crack a flamingo joke to them next time i am at the airport.
mile #11 - done.
not thinking a whole lot right now. i just need this to be over.
mile #12 - done.
one more. can i do one more? yes.
um, no. because i can see the finish line tent and bible, that thing is more than a mile away.
did someone actually measure the course? i think they screwed up.
all the cars lined up to get into sea world.  this is the only time in my life i will be running faster than a car is moving.
those are steel baracades, i must be close.
mile #13 - done.
now for the .1...this should be easy.
or hard.
very hard.
this is the hardest thing i have ever done.
where are all my jr high/high school PE teachers right now? because i would like them to see this.
mile #13.1 - done and done. 
i CAN do hard things.


  1. YAY! Loved the running commentary. :)

  2. Okay I saw your blog from SIZ talking about TMB. I love this post! I am so proud of you and I don't even know you! Now I want to run a 1/2 marathon too. But where are your beautiful new running shoes?? They went perfect with the top. Probably a good idea to go with the ones you've already broken in though. Nice work on the race.