Thursday, March 31, 2011

ps: i love you.

today was lovely!
full of mucho laughter and fun.
quite possibly the best day of work since i started almost two years ago!
in fact, we got requests to join our office staff meeting from the workers next door.
apparently our excitement for life was infectious.
not to sound nerdy or anything, but it was all about a book.
a book that is a life changing story for another day.

tonight is full of a bit of worry and a whole bunch of nerves.
all i can say is i am incredibly grateful for the peace only prayer and faith can bring to life.
because i know that no matter what happens tomorrow,
or during the days to come...
i am blessed.
i have an incredible family.
and i love my mom.
more than she will ever know.
and not a day has passed in my life where i haven't known how much she loves me.

goodnight lovelies.
xoxo.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

welcome to candyland.

tonight while in the kitchen i was having a minorly serious/majorly not so serious chat with thee bestie about my love for katy perry.
i reminded her that i have LITERALLY been her fan since day 1.
yep, the day her first cd came out and she was on ryan seacrest in the morning and NO ONE knew who she was.
that was the day i fell in love with her.
that was the day i basically realized she was me in a soon to be famous person's body.
and you see, today i watched this:
[please do not hold me accountable for any/all offensive language]



...and was once again reminded of why i love her so much.

my only two questions are:
1. why is it not july 25th yet?
and
2. how are we not best friends?
like, for realz.

welcome, welcome!

lovelies and gents,
please join me in welcoming one of our newest birdies to twitter...
thee bestie!!
or as she is known in twitterland...
{www.twitter.com/jodijean88}

you have no idea how happy this makes me.
although a little nervous that the world will now be completely open to a part of our dynamic that previously was private.
[like our incessant dawson's creek watching]
but hey, you might now just maybe be able to see why i love her so much.

follow me.
follow her.
tweet dreams loves.

i am okay.

oh dear loves, last week SUCKED!!
not like in a my life is over sort of way,
but more an i know i will be a better person once i am through this,
but for now it really sucks
sort of way.
[i guess that is whatcha get when you pray to be a better person]
[God hears...that i can assure you]


i try not to take much in life too personally.
because if you do,
everything and everyone is going to bother you.
and honey, that's no way to live!
but you know those words/feelings/situations that cut so deep,
you literally can't function?
yep, toats had one of those weekends, piled on top of an already hard week.
the bottom line is i very rarely get my feelings truly hurt,
but when the hurt comes, it is muy hard for me to let go of.
because the only people who have the power to hurt me,
are those i have so carefully let into my life.
those that i trusted enough to protect my heart.
and instead left it and my feelings out to dry.
because one thing i crave dearly in life is loyalty.
and everyone's definition of the word is something vastly different.
the good news is...
sometimes you just have to let situations be situations,
try not to make too much sense of it,
trust that those you love really do love you back
and then let the hell go!!

now don't get me wrong,
just because i feel like i am coming out of the hurtyness,
this doesn't mean i am going to sit here and tell you that it was soooo great to experience, and i feel really lucky.
ummmmmmmmm...no.
in fact, i got myself in such a tizzy, my body went into physical revolt against me yesterday and decided it wasn't going to keep anything down that i put in it.
great for a weight loss plan!
not so great when you are trying to function like a normal person.

but let me tell you, the world is a nice place.
[especially when you are on solid foods again]
it simply depends on how you choose to look at it.
and i choose to see pretty.
despite the not so pretty things that happen at times.
because no one is exempt from the hard.
so you can either get angry and really only hurt yourself.
or you can realize that stuff happens.
you just have to laugh...and get over it.

xoxo.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

now fight.

meh!
this weekend has been tres hurty, to say the very least.
sometimes life really knows how to knock you down.
flat on the floor.
luckily, before things went south, i was able to hit the theatre and see sucker punch,
after a very long ONE WHOLE YEAR of waiting!

if there is one thing i can tell you about this it's you are just gonna have to ignore the bad press and trust me when i say:
this is about as fun as movie watching has been for a long time.
i honestly don't know what the critics were expecting other than a fabulously, spectacular, visual feast thrust upon a useless storyline. duh much?!?

what you are in for:
the movie opens [with perhaps one of the BEST opening sequences i have ever seen] in the home of babydoll.
{the picture perfect emily browning}
her mother has just died and babydoll and her younger sister are left to the care of her evil step-father.
when he opens the will and realizes his now deceased wife left everything to the girls he takes his rage out on babydoll's younger sister...attacking and killing her.
babydoll decides to take matters into her own hands and goes after him with a gun, but she can't pull the trigger.
her step-father uses this story to get her admitted to lennox house, the local insane asylum.
as the step-father fears she will talk and give her side, the real side, of the story, he pays the workers off to put her in line for a lobotomy, wiping out any memory of the past she may have to incriminate him.
she has 3 days to get out...and get out she will.

in order to survive, babydoll turns her asylum surroundings into a burlesque club, her and her 4 new friends cast as the main dancers.
in her alter world, babydoll and the girls have 3 days to escape the club before the high roller {a dashing as ever jon hamm} comes to wisk babydoll and her innocence off her feet.
babydoll is informed, by a guardian angel, that she needs 5 things to free her soul...
a map
fire
a knife
a key
and one more thing she must figure out on her journey.

babydoll's talent is her ability to mesmerize people when she dances.
the girls decide that if they can get babydoll to dance, on different occasions, for the club owners, she can distract them while they find the items they are looking for.

in babydoll's mind, every dance is a fight for her freedom, taking her into an alter-video game type world.
here the guardian angel gives her and the girls tasks they must complete.
once the task is over, the dance is done, and the girls must have obtained what they need.

why this is better than the credit it is getting?
i honestly don't know what more people wanted from a zack snyder film.
snyder always has been, and probably always will be, a so-so story teller with an awe-inspiring imagination, bringing visuals to a movie like no other.
it is fun. and even more mesmerizing to watch.
the story is not wonderful, but that is not the point.
i stand by my assumption that this is THEE perfect date movie.
the boys get hot girls fighting nazi zombies, giants and dragons.
the girls get kick a** costumes, hair, makeup and bedazzlement that would put a drag queen to shame.

it's not brain surgery.
but it is by far one of the better movies this year.
basically it is moulin rouge meets warrior princess video game fighting.
nothing better in my book.
now all that is left to decide is if i will be bedazzled babydoll or zombie fighting babydoll for halloween.

and don't even get me started on the soundtrack.
you can listen for free ---> {here}
emily browning is indeed the voice behind the tracks sweet dreams, where is my mind and alone.
and i knew i liked the movie early on,
but i full fledged fell in love with it during the scene where amber has to get the fire from the mayor and she walks out wearing bedazzled heaven to the mix up/mash up of i want it all/we will rock you.

and finally, this question:
the mystery of whose story it will be, or who draws the curtain, of who sets the stage. who is it that chooses our steps in the dance, who drives us mad, lashes us with whips and crowns us with victory when we survive the impossible?
who is it that does all these things?


it's you. you have all the weapons you need. now fight
.
{sucker punch}


Thursday, March 24, 2011

movin out!

oh hey!
it's official lovelies...I AM MOVING.
eek!!!
no cali loves, this is not the move you keep wishing i will make.
but rather down 3 flights of stairs and over a few doors.
that's right, i am moving in with thee bestie and sweet mellie.
[although 95% of people already think we live together]
[we figured we would make it official]


i have so much crap to get rid of
and i don't even know where to start.
and thee bestie has already started making room for me in the pantry and the cabinets,
so that i feel welcome and wanted.
[how cute is she?!?!]
but for tonight i am just going to go to bed happy that in a few short weeks i will be living with 2 of my dearest friends.

for better or worse, here we come!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

you've had a birthday!

happy birthday to my sweet, not so lil, sissy...

and my favorite actress in the entire world.

Monday, March 21, 2011

just another manic monday

today i received an email from a dearest and darling friend titled:
hello, monday. i hate your effing guts.
her obvious ability to turn stress into hilarity aside,
girlfriend had a strong point when it came to today.
it just sucked.
no other way to put it.

everything in life right now is a bit more than i can handle.
i wake up in the morning and am immediately stressed out until it is time to go to bed at night.
the very thought of what i need to accomplish in the month of april, in and of itself, easily puts me into a panic.
and today i received an utterly heart breaking email from my little brother.
but, of course, because i got the email 3 hours after he sent it...i couldn't email him back to tell him to hang in there and that i love him.

just kinda how life is at the current moment.

this little lady is blue.
when she would much prefer everything in her world to be pink.

[photo courtesy of ffffound.com]

Sunday, March 20, 2011

how do you get to wonderland?

little known fact:
i am obsessed with alice in wonderland.
anything and everything to do with it.
movies, stories, purses, clothing, shoes, makeup, etc.
basically, the tim burton movie was one of the best things to happen to me last year.
and when i have children,
i want them to have a wonderland themed nursery.
[hoping this won't scar them forever]
so if you are ever looking for a prezzie for moi,
you are guaranteed a home run with anything that could have come from carroll's fantasy world.
an obsession is an obsession.
and when it comes to my girl alice...i have one.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

grandma and me.

today is my grandmother's birthday.
it is our first without her here with us,
and in each of our own ways...we miss her oh so much.

i can't stop thinking about all the fun things we used to do for her birthdays.
most memorably for her 60th we got pulled out of school and went to disneyland for two days straight.
i mean, when you are in the 4th grade, that is a HUGE deal.
the whooollllleeee family was there.
we rode all the rides, ate at thee super swank club 33, had fun cousin sleepovers and wrapped it all up with the party to end all parties at goofy's kitchen in the disneyland hotel.
even cinderella and her prince showed up with a few other characters to sing grandma a happy birthday.
at that moment i thought she was truly magical if she was cool enough for those folks to show up.

i started this week with thinking of all the things i didn't get to say to her before she left,
but instead decided to focus more on what i would say to her for her birthday...

dear grandma,
first things first, i went to see oprah. and i met her! you would have loved her. i thought of you the whole time.
turquoise is back in this season, which would make you very happy because it is your favorite color.
you were right, angelina was the best thing to ever happen to brad.
we have two new bunnies now.
they aren't sprinkles, but they will do.
the oscars were great. you would have loved all of anne's dresses and the fact that colin firth won best actor.
the royal wedding is in a little more than a month and i know you have a lot to say about that.
everyone is doing great.
jameson is on his THIRD month of his mission, and we miss him.
law school hasn't killed jon-michael...yet.
i am super proud of him.
we miss you. alot. more than you will ever know.
we love you.
i love you.
love, jessica

Monday, March 14, 2011

oh jake.

today at work, we received this magazine in the mail...it quickly became a fight for who would get to it first.
thee owner wanted to read it for all the boy stuff.
i obvs wanted it for the cover art and article that was simply going to reinforce my love for jake gyllenhaal.
trying to find the article about jakey, my co-worker started flipping through every page.
i stopped him and told him my "jadar" would help me find it in under 30 seconds.
i explained that women are just kind of draawwwnnnnn to jake in that way.
he handed over the mag with sincere doubt and BAM, i found the artcile.
impressed, he decided to take it one step further by asking me what day jake gyllenhaal was born.
if i could come within 10 days of his bday, without googling or cheating, he would pay me $5.

okay lovelies, i take pop culture trivia very. seriously.
so i decided to do some investigative mind work.

the thoughts went a little something like this:
last year the big story was that jake and tay tay had birthdays within the same month. i know for a FACT tay was born in december. thus, jake was born in december. so now i have 31 days to choose from. i am pretty sure jake and tay's days were about 2 weeks apart. i know hers is at the beginning of the month, which means his has to be toward the end. {time to pull out desk calendar and take a wild guess} i looked at the calendar and found my day. completely randomly.
december 19th.


my coworker looked at me with an are you sure? look.
i told him it was my final answer.
he then asked why i picked that day.
i said it was completely at random.
he gave me silence for a minute and then started laughing,
jake gyllennhaal was born on DECEMBER 19, 1980!!!
bam. bam. shazam.
if that is not skill, i don't know what is.

lesson learned:
do not EVER challenge me on celeb trivia.
i have a sixth sense about these things.
no it's not like espn or something,
kinda like better.
because now i am $5 richer, and will never forget jakey's day.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

hey there little red riding hood.

i love weekends.
but i am not going to say that every once in a while i don't get the weekend, i have no plans, blues.
whelp, they hit hard and strong yesterday afternoon.
i had worked all day long and was tired with nothing to look forward too but cleaning my kitchen floor.
[oh yes, wiiillllddd and crazy are two of my many middle names]

but right as these moody blues hit, i hit up my local movie listings and realized red riding hood was starting in 15 minutes.
done and done.
10 minutes later i was on a date with me, myself and moi...perfectly excited...perfectly not blue.
even better, the movie was surprisingly worth the trip.
to read the review i think best sums it up, click ------> [here].



the story revolves around a small, fantastical town living according to the means of a wolf that comes around during every full moon.
the town offers up their best animal sacrifice in the town square and then locks their doors to let the wolf come around.
that is the deal in the treaty.
keep the deal and no human is killed.
valerie [thee fabulous amanda seyfried] lives with her family in the town; in love with peter, but betrothed to henry.
[don't worry ladies, both are hot. you will be happy]
when valerie's sister becomes a victim of the wolf, the treaty is officially broken and the town calls up zealous father solomon [a spot on gary oldman], to help them make a plan.
he informs them that the wolf is not just a wolf; but, rather a werewolf who lives amongst the townspeople when not taken over by the full moon.

here is the deal lovelies:
the script is awful. like, totally laughable at times.
but director catherine hardwike has created a visually stunning fairy tale world full of color and dimensional characters who are not at all what they seem at first glance.
it took me the ENTIRE film to figure out who the wolf was.
and any story that keeps me guessing that long, is well worth my $6.50.
and yes, i do want a red cape.

something old, something new

there are many reasons why i have such a huge place in my heart for thee bestie and sweet mellie.
example you say? no prob.
in december we had planned on having a BEYOND fabulous new year's eve.
sparkly dresses, lots of food, devastating amounts of fun.
except remember how i got stuck in california for the duration of christmas eve, christmas, new year's eve and new years.
[not that i didn't love my mandatory stay due to jet blue]
[but that doesn't mean i didn't minorly miss my plans]


due to the fact that my friends are thee greatest, they decided to simply postpone our plans to another weekend in january when i could be present.
we decided to, appropriately, call it new year's eve 2.

the night began with us checking in at the BW Hilton.
[aka: blair waldorf hilton]
[no, you do not need to know what that means]

thee bestie had used her mad soccer skills during half time at a byu soccer game to win a free stay.
awesome. awesome. awesome.
we the proceeded to break out our suitcases of makeup and hot irons and got our pretty on to go out on the town.

[sweet mellie and thee bestie, probs rockin out to the biebs]

[sweet mellie and moi, ready to blow a hole in this town]

better known as hitting up the local olive garden.
[oh yes, we are THAT wild]
we flirted with out waiter, ate yummy food, threw in a little gossip and had thee perfect dinner to kick off our re-celebration of 2011.
then it was time to get frozen yogurt and head back to our hotel.
we got in our jammies and snuggled in bed to spend the next 6 hours watching our favorite friends on the creek. yes, that would be dawson's creek.
top it off with a pillow fight and a fab night sleep and you have a new year's eve celebration that will surely go down in the history books.

[i don't know what mellie said, but it obvs wasn't good]

[because mellie ended up with ZERO pillows]

[and princess bestie ended up with all]

until next year.
xoxo

Saturday, March 12, 2011

besties and birthdays.

[karla's 23rd b-day]

thursday was my dear, sweet karla's bday.
she and moi have been the best of besites for a while now.
like, a reaaallllyyyy long time.
think plaid skirts, knee highs and jr high drama.

our junior year of high school we had 5 of 7 classes together.
[fate LOVED us that year]
one of those classes was spanish, in which we had seating charts, in which kar and i were always separated.
the problem was we just sat together anyway.
and everyday senor ramirez would make us go back to our seats.
well, finally for our last few months of school senor did a final seating chart with me and karla sitting next to each other.
in finding this out we squealed in delight and asked senor what he was thinking...
his response was that he was thinking he was tired of trying to keep us apart.
yes, that is the kind of friends we are.
the inseparable, can't live without each other, sister from another mister...kind of friend.

i miss my california gurls all the freakin time.
but especially during birthday season.
however, today i received this text from them:
so for karla's bday we are in LA and got mani/pedis and we got the katy perry teenage dream sparkle polish to go on top of our color as a way of having you with us!!

whoever said a text message can't make you cry was seriously disturbed.
i seriously love these girls.
love. love. love.
i have great friends.

hey now, you're an all star

[jonathan toews, chicago blackhawks, love of my life]

today i calendared out the dates of the 2011 nhl stanley cup playoffs.
i know, i know, you thought i was a girly girl?
i assure you. i still am. alive and well.
but this is just what happens when a type-A girly girl is raised by two boys with a stanley cup winning hockey team down the street from her house.
i adore any sport where you can legally draw blood from an opposite team member.
so i map out all the dates...
it's my thing. let it go.

anywhoo, during my google search,
i stumbled across ----> [this] fabulous article.
ummm, hello?!?!?
how am i not real life friends with this woman?
a 2011 all sexy team?
genius. love.

however, i do not agree with thee lack of patrick sharp on the list. but totes agree with mr. toews.
yes, i am a chicago fan.
and yes, all this hockey talk makes me miss thee lil bro like mad.

Friday, March 11, 2011

you wanna piece of me?

okay lovelies,
BIG BIG BIG changes are happening in life this week.
and i am in love with all of them.
seriously, oprah changed my world forever.
don't laugh...she did.

after a very rejuvinating weekend home with the fam and oprah, [who basically is fam now...duh?!?]
i came back to utah with a new mission...
i am here. so i need to love being here while i am here.
do i want to stay here forever?
oh dear heavens above no...NO.
but for the time being that i am here, however long that time being may be,
i am determined to just love every second of it.

with this new little goal in mind, i am on the mend with some major changes.
remember when i said i had a specific goal in mind with that totes awesome haircut as the light at the end of the tunnel?
well the MAJOR goal to get that cut is to cut a bit off my mid section and big lady behind.
that's right, this little lady is getting her not so little bum in gear, and ship shaping up for the summer.
my goal is 25 pounds.
[when i told thee bff about it tonight her face dropped and she screamed,]
[FROM WHERE?
]


so before you get all upset in my face for this,
the weight IS there to loose.
i pretty promise.
i was blessed with genes in which i can gain weight
and it never really looks like i have.
i am tall tall tall,
so there are lots of places for that sneaky little fat to go.
the real part of this is that it has nothing to do with the numbers, but rather how i feel.
i believe a huge part of revolutionizing your life is to
FEEL great about it.
the good news is i already sincerely love who i am.
i am comfortable in my skin.
which is why i am comfortable saying...
i am going to loose weight.

oh and beeessssiiidddess the new hair,
i have also promised myself ONE [or both?] of these swimmy suits...

[betsey johnson "let's polka" swimsuit 2011]

[marc jacobs "lace garden" swimsuit 2011]

so ladies,
if you are feeling a bit frumpy, get on board the train with me.
your numbers have nowhere to go but down.
and your confidence has nowhere to go but up.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

fish out of water.

i am sorry byu fans.
but i just DO NOT find jimmer fredette attractive.
[in fact i had to google how to spell the man's name correctly]
nor do i really care about his awesomenss. is he a great basketball player?
without a doubt. do i think he is fabulous?
ummm...duh. would i marry him?
only for all the money he is sure to make.
and my momma didn't raise no gold digger.

so no, i do not have jimmer pride.
[although i am quite impressed with how the honor code debacle was handled]
in fact, i could really care less if byu makes it anywhere in march maddness.
i kinda stopped loving byu sports when they wouldn't let victoria's secret use their logo for their sports lounge wear.
double boo.
pluuussssssss...
i only watch basketball when the colors are purple and gold.
don't hate.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

got a secret...

...can you keep it?

while in line at the crack of dawn for thee oprah party, thee bestie and moi met this lovely mother/daughter team.
the mom was particularly chatty and due to the fact that i was sure my legs were going to freeze off my body at any moment, i decided i might as well distract myself and chat back.
we started talking to them and the mom told us all about how the last time she was at the hollywood bowl was for a party for stephen sondheim.
she told us the one person that stood out at the party to her was ms. anne hathaway.
she said she was very tall, quite genuine in her conversations with people and very pleasant to be around.
[keep in mind, this was before we knew anne was on oprah that day]

happy to know my girl anne was everything i had thought she would be and more, we began talking about the lack of cell phone use allowed in the oprah audience.
this lady then brought up the fact that she had been in the audience during a grammy rehursal a few weeks prior, someone took a picture while katy perry was practicing and security came over immediately and made them delete it.

PAUSE. HOLD. IT.
okay folks, life defining moment here.
do i ask or don't i ask?!?
do i really even want to know? or do i want to stay living in my katylicious bubble forever?

whelp, curiosity killed this cat.
i opened my big fat mouth and said,
okay, so now i have a question. and if you can't tell me, it's fine...just say you don't want to talk about it. but what is katy perry like in real life? i mean, when the cameras are off and she is around other celebrities so she can be a biatch if she wants too. remember i'm kinda like her biggest fan so if she is mean, i don't want to know details. just tell me my idolization should be thrown in a different direction.

makeup mom laughed a bit and then though for a bit.
i took this pause as super bad news and through my honest to goodness nervousness over her answer i chime in again,
she is mean isn't she? it's okay. you can tell me. i can take it.

makeup mom interrupted my despair by saying,
no no no. shewass not mean at all. in fact, i will tell you that i was honestly very impressed with her. in a rehearsal like the grammys, the people directing the show make you do things over and over again and some of the singers get tired of it and have a bit of an attitude with the workers. i specifically remember when she was done with her number they asked her to please do it again, and she was actually one of the nicest ones about it. she was very polite and kind. respectful of everyone.

well thank the dear heavens above!
i think i literally breathed an audible sigh of relief in that moment.
i don't know what i would have done if she turned out to be a monster!

and in case you missed miss katy's beyond brilliant grammy performance...

[excuse the foreign language in the beginning. por favor.]

enjoy lovelies.
xoxo

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

i love you forever.

a very special happy anniversary to my sweet parents.
they are the two role models i will never deserve,
but forever take.
i love them more than they will ever know.
they are true examples to me of happiness, love and joy.
although sometimes i find the fact they are truly more in love today than they were OVER 30 years ago gross...
i wouldn't have it any other way.
thank you dear parents.
and happy anniversary!
xoxo.

mother knows best

when i was home for thee great oprah adventure, thee mom told me she had watched le divorce.
even more, she actually liked it. my first thoughts were,
"ummmm...
i remember hearing nothing but yuck over this movie."

but more important than the movie, she told me that if i watched it, she was beyond sure i would come away from the viewing not really wanting, but needing kate hudson's chic french do.

well, i should have known better, because:
a.) i loved the movie. nothing special, but cute and BONUS, it is filmed in paris. oui!
b.) i am currently coveting katie h's hair.

isn't it beyond anything you have ever seen??
tres chic?
i think yes.
now i have a few goals to achieve before i let myself take the cut. [those of which i will divulge later this week]
but as i was doing some good research,
[rule #1: ALWAYS research the hair]
i came across another fan of the kate do:
well now there is no question about it.
i just HAVE to have it.

Monday, March 7, 2011

i had the time of my life {finale}

right as all this is happening sally sue puts her hand on my shoulder and all i can muster up is a wide grin and a thank you.
i feel like what went unsaid is, we are sisters now. bonded by oprah for life.
but enough about sally sue because remember how oprah winfrey is now standing in front of me?!?!
her makeup/hair person has followed her off stage, along with her clapping coordinator,
[yes, she has someone who specifically tells you when to clap]
and the girl whose seat she will take during the next section of the show gets up and goes to the back of the auditorium. this is a seat directly across the aisle from me, fyi.

so we are just hanging out with oprah, not really sure what to do and she looks at us and says
how are you doing today?
HOLD IT...
i am sorry, call me crazy, but never in my life have i ever imagined what i would say if i were to talk to oprah winfrey.
maybe you have?
but the honest to goodness thought has just never crossed my mind.
all i can muster up is a great! thank you.
and she smiles and says, well good!
she tells everyone how great they look and then her clapping coordinator comes and tells her to stand next to me.
yep, MEEEEE!
[imagine me saying this]
[in an elle woods i just made it into the internship sort of way]

i am tempted to reach out and touch her dress like i am a 3 year old subject and she is my queen.
but i quickly regain composure as we are 5 seconds away from filming.

oprah begins to introduce her next guests, the staten island choir, ps22.
if you watched the oscars they were the cute choir that sang during the minorly corny part of all the winners coming back out at the end and taking their final bow.
but more importantly, if you watched the oprah oscar show, this is the part where you can see my arm, like it's a growth out of oprah's dress.
yes, when i say she is right in front of me, i mean it!!!
the kids come rolling on out and oprah sits down, ohhh ya know, NEXT TO US.
and i am just so determined that she is going to notice what a classy little lassy i am and hire me to work for her forever and ever.

the cute kiddos start to sing, only my favorite song of the moment, katy perry's firework.
it's sweet, it's charming, but i can't take my eyes off of oprah.
what does she do when the cameras are not on her?
well, she doesn't "sit" in the seat, instead she sits on the flippy part of the seat.
and is very adamant to her clapping coordinator that when she gets up on the stage, she needs to be by #7.
is this a child? is this a marker on the stage? is this a camera?
heaven only knows, but she makes sure he remembers.

suddenly i can no longer pay attention to the fact that oprah is sitting next to me because something far more meaningful to my life has started taking place.
the kiddos start to sing the lines of the song,
you just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine.
except now there is a woman's voice chiming in.
my first thoughts are:
is katy singing via satellite or something?
because she is on tour in europe right now, which is why she wasn't on the carpet last night with hubby russell,
believe me...i would know.
the kids keep singing and so does this mysterious voice.
i look over at oprah and all i see is a huge smile on her face.
like a smile only someone can get when they know what is going to happen next, but no one else does.
i then turn to thee bestie and all i can say is
no. no. no. no. this can't be happening.
and i grab her hand as if i am going to fall right out of my seat.

well, lovelies, it is happening.
the fancy partitions on the stage go up,
and out walks katy perry.
you would think this is ONLY the stuff that dreams are made of.
and to that i will say, you are right!
but remember i am at oprah, and this lady has made a living off of making people's dreams come true.
katy walks and i loose ANY thought of my classiness getting me hired at harpo and shoot straight up out of my seat and start screaming and crying in the same moment.
then thee bestie starts crying.
meanwhile, the audience is now on their feet screaming along with me.


ms. katy perry-hudson-brand,
[my idol...in case you have missed my previous 126 posts about this woman]
is now to the front of the stage in thee most gorgeous gold dress you have ever seen.
attached to the hip of her dress is a royal purple bow and her hair is styled like she is straight out of the 1940's.
the back of her dress is all gold sequins that come together right under her rear end with another purple bow.
the kids are going nuts now too and it is just a party, for the millionth time today.
we get to the chorus of the song and real fireworks start going off INSIDE the auditorium.
a dream come true right?
except this is my REAL LIFE. and by far the best moment of it thus far.


after the performance the kids practically accost katy, and we go straight to commercial break.
oprah walks up to the stage to greet her and has to wait a few minutes, as the kids are not letting katy go anytime soon.
katy is very cute with them,
taking her time to hug each one of them.
she gets this huge, huge smile on her face as it is her turn to hug oprah.
then she turns to the audience and says,
this is OPRAH!
and everyone laughs.

[miss katy and oprah...new and fab bffs for life]

we are back from commercial and oprah introduces katy and makes sure everyone knows that
she flew all night to be here with us.
and then calls her, and i quote, a classy classy lady.
oh my heavens! can this get any better?
even oprah loves my fav gal.
oprah takes katy's hand and asks her a few questions.
then she tells the choir they will each be getting a new sprint ipad type thingy and they all scream.
then this little boy goes up to her and says,
but i thought KATY was the surprise?!?!!
hahaha, oprah laughs and says,
well, she was your first surprise.
then oprah tells everyone to go out and buy katy's album, teenage dream.
and says goodbye to everyone.

{side note: here are katy's thoughts of being on oprah}


quicker than lightening sally sue is back on stage telling the audience to please exit the theatre and the following people need to stay put.
oprah tells her that she actually would like everyone in the theatre to stay seated, and well folks, in case you have not gotten it by now, what oprah says goes.
so we all sit.
and oprah comes to the front of the stage
and thanks us all for coming.
she tells us that she understands for some of us this is a trip of a lifetime and we have waited years to come to her show, and she understands this and is truly grateful to us.
she thanks us again for getting up early
and putting ourselves together.
and for being with her through the past 25 years, because she knows she would be nowhere without the power of her fans.
and then she bids us farewell.

well lovelies,
even one week later, i am still in awe.
i cannot believe that the day i get tickets to oprah is the day anne hathaway and katy perry are on her show.
i didn't even know oprah knew who katy was!?!?!?!

so i guess the point of all these posts is to let you know that, from my experience:
oprah is not just nice, she is fabulous.
she means business, but she is incredibly fun and genuine.
and that just as everyone has said for years,
she truly does make dreams come true.
she certainly made mine.
and she will never ever know how truly grateful i am for that.
xoxo

Sunday, March 6, 2011

bff productions

lovelies,
if you are ever looking for another blog to read, i will give my somewhat expert opinion and guide you toward my new fav:

BFF Productions
http://bffproductions.tumblr.com/

her name is sophia rossi.
no i don't know her, but i feel like if we ran in the same circle,
[aka: hollywood]
we would be besties.

she is real life bff with a one zooey deshanel and was producer of the hills and the city.
her thoughts are muy hilarious.
i hope you love her as much as moi.

i had the time of my life {part 2}

ms. sally lou walks up on stage to get
thee pre-oprah party started.
much like this, except today she is dressed in black sparkles...

[sally lou doing her routine pre-show kick off]

the music starts blasting black eyed peas i gotta feeling, the screens go up and begin to play highlights from oprah's 25 seasons of television and the crowd goes wild.
now i'm not talking excited, wild.
i'm talking out of freakin control screams, sobs, cheers and everything in between.
in a decibal competition between bieber fans and oprah fans.
oprah fans would win. hands down.

sally invites any audience member who wants to dance on stage to come on up.
[thee bestie and i decide it would be best to keep our mad dancing skills]
[for at home parties only]

and we move into dancing to black eyed peas time of my life.
[obvs oprah likes the peas]
sally gets the on stage dancers going and as audience members we all put our arms around the person next to us and do a mini-rockets type dance/sing along.
then sally asks us to turn to the person we came with and give them a big hug,
because OBVIOUSLY you would never come to oprah with anyone less than your favorite person in the world.
so i hug thee bestie, i cry for the 1000x time today and we get back to dancing.

sally lou settles everyone down and welcomes specific members of the audience.
she then reads us our legal rights, like just in case you DIDN'T know you will be on tv today.
and in the middle of the rights looks up from her paper to say
oprah is walking. oprah is walking.
the army moves into oprah arrival mode and the audience goes hush hush.

we wait about 3 loooooooonnnngggg minutes, prob thee longest 3 minutes of my life, and the lights go down.
the announcer comes over the loud speaker...
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WELCOME TO THE OPRAH AFTER OSCAR PARTY SHOW.
PLEASE WELCOME YOUR HOST, OPRAH WINFREY!"

and let me tell you, the screams are un-worldly.
everyone jumps up and looses any self-control they might have withheld during the pre-show party.
the fancy partitions on the oscar stage go up and out walks ms. winfrey herself in thee most gorgeous burgundy wrap dress and turtle shell louboutins.
[props to her dresser for the loubies]
[i would have matched black, but the turtle shell looked even better]

and of course, the screams/cheers don't stop.
until finally O has to calm us all down by saying
i know, i feel the same way about you too.
which in fact doesn't calm anyone down, but rather throws everyone into even more excited fits of joy.

finally we all get ourselves together, sit down and oprah begins talking about her thoughts on the oscars and how lucky she feels to be able to do her show every year here.
she ends by saying:
i think there is still a little oscar magic in the air.
the stage partitions go up and out walk geoffrey rush, colin firth and tooooooooooom hoooooooper.
[yes, oprah does her liz leeemmmooonnnnn type intrudcutions in real life]

[tom hooper, director of the kings speech; geoffrey rush, colin firth, orpah]

do i even need to throw in the fact that the crowd goes wild?
because i think it is just a bit obvious by now.
except this time, thee bestie and moi are beside ourselves because mr. darcy is right in front of us!
oprah proceeds to do her interview, which is exactly what you see on tv.
at the end of the king's speech segment her music begins to play when she is
not done with her speech yet and she teases,
how can music play me off of my own show?!?
which is what you see on tv, except when we go to commercial she doesn't let it go.
not in a mean way, but rather in a completely hilarious way.
on commercial she turns to the audience and starts talking to everyone about the music telling her to shut up.
her makeup team comes out and spruces her up and she talks to bff gayle who is sitting in the front row.
people go up to the writer of the king's speech, sitting in the audience, and ask him if they can hold his oscar.
he is very obliging.
harvy weinstein, miramax king, is actually nicer than i would have pegged him for, as well.

now we are back from commercial and oprah is ready for her next guest:
she started as a princess and ended up being the queen of the oscars last night, please welcome
annnnnnnnnnnneee hathaway!

now it is my turn to have a MAJOR meltdown.
as i do not think people fully understand
my love for this woman.
i boarderline idolize her every move.
i want to BE her.
and here she is, 10 feet in front of me.
ms. anne walks out in thee most fabulous sparkle shoes you have ever seen and makes herself quite comfy with oprah.

[oscar co-host anne hathaway and oprah winfrey]

the interview is exactly what is on television.
and during the commercial breaks oprah mostly chit chats with anne, turning to the audience a few times to include us.
anne sticks around for two commercial breaks and at the end of her time with us someone from the audience comments on her shoes.
she immediately throws herself back in her chair, kicks up her feet and screams thank you!
and in this moment,
i fall even more in love with anne hathaway.
because where i predicted her to be this super refined,
elegant lady.
she turns out to have super class with super sass
and a HUGE personality.

next up is carson with his fab lavender blazer and run down on the fashion of the night.
carson is muy cute with the audience,
but only up for a short time.
although oprah seems to enjoy having him around.
you can see she genuinely loves him.
during commercial she turns to the audience and thanks us for getting up so early to be here.
you all look great and you have your make-up on and are ready to go.
it takes a village to put me together everyday.
i can't even dress myself anymore.
so, seriously, thank you to each and everyone of you.
thee bestie and i laugh.
because everyone knows oprah is spoiled, but i love her even more for being willing to just flat out admit it to the world.

finally it is time for melissa leo, who won best supporting actress the night before for her role in the fighter.
her entrance is my favorite because you can see her in the wings on the side of the stage getting ready to come on.
right as oprah announces her name, melissa jumps straight up in the air and runs onto the stage with oscar in tow.

[melissa leo, oscar and oprah]

she is just adorable and oprah has a lot of fun teasing her about using the f word the night before in her acceptance speech.
i am impressed she apologizes to anyone who might have been offended by her language and oprah then asks her what this award means to her.
melissa is left speechless and turns the question around to O by saying, well i don't really know. what do you think?
oprah begins to tell her that she believes the award was much deserved and her whole future is changed due to the hard work she has put into her life.
melissa begins to cry, i begin to cry, once again...tear fest.
what i love about this moment is that for all the crap people give oprah, and all the things they hate about her, she has this quality about her that despite all the money she has, keeps her very genuine.
and THAT is what makes her who she is.

melissa leo stays for a bit during the commerical break to wave to the audience and suddenly to the left of me is demon sally sue telling thee bestie and moi to sit up straight.
right when i think she is just moving herself down my list as quickly as she can go,
i turn from looking at sally, back to the stage and ms. oprah winfrey is walking right towards us.
the surprise/shock/sheer happiness must have been VERY apparent on my face because sally turns to me and says,
i promised you these were the best seats
in the house.

thee final part of the saga,
which includes my true thoughts on oprah and my super super surprise are up manana.
xoxo.

Friday, March 4, 2011

i had the time of my life...{part 1}

okay okay okay, so in case you didn't hear, thee bestie and i might just maybe have gone to visit our new bff oprah on monday morning for her official oscar after party,
filmed in the kodak theatre,
where the academy awards were held the night before.
are you ready for the good stuff?
fyi-the story will be split into 3 posts because it is just WAAYYY too long for simply one.
let's begin...

we are out the door on monday morning by 4:30am and in the drive thru for diet coke by 4:35am.
[priorities lovelies, priorities]
once we have our caffeine in tow we make our way to the city of dreams for a morning to be filled with glitz, glam, a few stars and oprah, herself.
we arrive at the hollywood bowl parking lot around 5:15am and get in line.
we wait, make friends, freeze our cute little behinds off.
[oprah fans are muy friendly, btw]
luckily my BEYOND fabulous boss visited oprah a few weeks before and let us in on a little secret...
oprah seats her guests not in the order they arrive, but rather by the way they are dressed.
[smart much? i mean, there IS a reason she could rule the free world]
as you can imagine, thee bestie and moi are dressed to the nines.
i even have on my sparkle shoes for the occasion.

we wait in the parking lot until about 6:30am when a worker comes up to us and pulls us out of line.
she registers us, gives us a pink wristband and sends us to board one of the many buses.
[yes, ALL 3500 guests are checked in the old fashion way...]
[with paper and a highlighter]

by now we are thinking pink either means you look great or so bad they don't want the camera to ever see your face.
we sit on the bus until 7:15am, too excited to relax or take a cat nap.
once we start moving everyone gets SUPER excited and starts cheering and screaming.
[i might have screamed too, but i mean...i can't remember for sure.]
the buses take us straight to the kodak theatre, which is still completely dressed up from the oscars and a very surreal sight to see.
they drop us off and we get in yet another line until we make it to the doors of the theatre and thee army tells us which line to stand in next.
[all lines and locations are coordinated]
[with the color of wristband you are given at check in]
we stand in our pink line for about 30 minutes until we are let into the foyer of the theatre and joined with the purple wristband line.
we wait here until about 8:45am, continuing to make friends,
and obviously use the bathroom because it was the one ALL the stars used the previous night.
[it had muy fancy lotion, i bet natalie used it before she won]

slowly they start letting our line in.
we walk down this long hallway and as we start to approach the doors we can see they are leading us to the ORCHESTRA SECTION of the theatre.
now you would have room to judge if thee bestie and moi were the only ones to start screaming over this realization.
but, we were not.
in fact our whole line...women of all ages, shapes and sizes burst into a mix of uncontrollable screams and tears.

they make us stand on the sides of the theatre while they seat everyone 2x2.
[yes, her army LITERALLY seats everyone individually]
finally our turn to be seated, the girl brings us to the FRONT ROW and tells us to sit.
okay, i am not going to lie, by this time the tears of complete surprise and joy are a constant and we keep looking at each other thinking, "how is this my life?"well then sally, as we discovered was her name,
comes up to us and tells us she needs us to follow her.
half way through us walking with her we realize we are being DEMOTED to the 5th row aisle.
naturally, we open our big mouths and tell her we want to go back to the front row.
she tells us that she needs us to sit in the new seats and PROMISES us that if we just trust her, these seats are the best ones in the entire place.
whatevs, right about now i decide i don't really like sally.
but we go with it, we are in the 5th row of the kodak theatre, let's not get greedy now.

we are in our seats until about 9:45am, watching thee oprah army run around seating everyone.
telling us to spit out all gum.
take off wristbands.
all purses under the chairs.
sit up straight, etc.
the whole while playing music and, because oprah fans are AMAZING, the audience does the wave and has mini-dance parties amongst their new groups of friends.

at 9:45am the music stops and demon sally goes up to the stage and says,
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN...
WELCOME TO THE OPRAH SHOW!!!"

for more on the oprah pre-show kick off party, what the celebs do during commercial breaks, what oprah is really like and the surprise of MY life...
come back manana lovelies!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

overwhelmed, underwhelmed, whelmed.

"i know you can be overwhlemed, and you can be underwhelmed...
but can you ever just be whelmed?"
"i think you can in europe?"
--10 things i hate about you--

soooooo much going on in life this week and i am just trying with every fiber of my stilettoed being to stay afloat.
pretty promise thee WHOLE oprah story will be posted tomorrow.
all i will say tonight is people aren't kidding when they talk about oprah making dreams come true.
the whole day was absolutely surreal.
like, i was in complete hysterics of happiness by the end of the show, surreal.

but as of right now, i am off to get my beauty sleep on.

ps:
today i ran into a dear friend from college and her sweet little girl while getting my daily sinner dose of caffeine.
best moment by far and away.
and EXACTLY what i needed.

[photo courtesy of ffffound.com]