Tuesday, May 9, 2017

only me when i'm with you: kar.







 at the end of last year i decided that,
despite my continued efforts to blog publicly and live privately,
i wanted y'all to get to know the people who make my world spin 'round a bit better.
aka: i honestly don't love talking about moi's self all the time.
and in case you missed the initial installment of this weekly column,
skip back and read all about bff rach {here}.

this week's turn at the plate is: karla!

a little bit of background:
as i mentioned in my maid of honor speech at her wedding last year,
i can't tell you the exact moment she walked into my life.
i don't remember the day we met or what we talked about or 
what it was exactly that made us click the way we do.
and i've always considered that a great blessing.
because, you see, it seems she's always been with me.

from midnight calls about homework and boys in jr high and high school,
to hundreds...ehhh...scratch that...thousands of texts sent throughout college,
to me moving back and forth over a number of years,
distance and timing and life may have been physically between us, at times,
but there hasn't been anything thrown my way that i haven't been able to turn to her with.
we have faught the biggest of fights and we have laughed the loudest of laughs,
and lived through everything in between.

have you ever known someone who you could tell absolutely anything to?
and i'm not talking the silly things or in a truth or dare sense of the phrase.
i mean the deepest sort of thoughts you have that you swear 
should never see the light of day?
someone who knows the right questions to ask without you having to even
hint that you have something to say?
someone who literally knows everything about you?
for the past 19 years i have,
and not a day goes by where i don't realize this girl is one of the greatest blessings
 i've ever been given.
she's my absolute soul; my sister.
which is why i can't wait to share her fabulousness with you...

what do you do for work?
vice president and information technology director of a bank.

how did we meet?
junior high, where i first discovered jess had perfect handwriting, lol.

favorite movie/book?
sweet home alabama.

one word your husband would use to describe you?
loyal.

what are the 3 things you bring with you on a desert island?
my husband, a life vest and my makeup collection.

what are 3 things i would bring with me on a desert island?
diet coke, a tv and the entire series of sex and the city.

something you say a lot?
"God's watching you" to spot guilty liars!

how did you meet your husband?
confirmation class at church.

something embarrassing that has happened to you?
there's too many to pick from...one classic was probably running up the stairs to class and tripping on the second to last step, while wearing a skirt.  those below me had a great view of my yellow undies.

if you have to pick a tv or movie character for you and one for me, who would they be?
i'm charlotte and you are carrie. i mean, for real.

what is something about me most readers probably don't know?
you have an insane movie poster collection, and in another life you'd be an amazing interior decorator.

what is your favorite memory of our friendship?
gosh, where do i begin? from our acrobatic gymnastic moves during high school dance team to calling each other at midnight to say, happy new year!

one thing you want for christmas?
for my husband and i to buy our first house.

we are going shopping, where is the first place on your list?
target! but when we want to be fancy, kate spade, helloooooooo!!! 
but let's be real, when we're together, we are always eating. :) do restaurants count? because we'd eat first, then shop!

do you view the diet coke glass half full or half empty?
half full.

aside from necessities, what is one thing you can't go a day without?
my cellphone, lol.

what is the last thing you watched on tv?
once upon a time, the musical episode.

what is your biggest pet peeve?
people who feel entitled, but have earned absolutely nothing.

what is your favorite thing about yourself?
i am pretty goal oriented, and i always keep myself looking forward to something.

why do you think our friendship works?
trust and loyalty and endless hours of talking about anything and everything.

if you could tell bergdorf brunette readers anything, what would it be?
to her gentleman fans, she's a CATCH! don't let her go. i'm picturing her special someone in my head right now. ;)
XxOo.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

my little pony.

i'm asked a lot of questions by a lot of people.
{are you naturally blonde?, why aren't you married yet?, you mean you've NEVER drank?}
but i would say the one i am, strangely enough, asked most often is:
what part of the south are you from?
of course, i answer a bit sassily with, "california. southern california".
now let me tell you, 
there are so many worse things in this world than being mistaken for 
a true southern belle.
at first i was a bit confused where it all came from,
but from my progressively frequent use of "bless your heart as a negative"
{thanks miranda}
to my dedication to gigham as a not-just-for-the-tablecloth print,
to my slight obsession with sending thank you notes,
it doesn't seem too far off.
sorta like a fake prada,
as close as you're gonna get to the real thing without actually being the real thing.
and then there is my sincere love for horse racing.

i fell in love with getting dressed up in something classy, throwing a good hat on it,
and cheering for horses from a certain pretty woman in the early 90s.
which, i get it people, was polo and not horse racing,
{you might not follow me on that one, but i follow me, 
and that's probably the most important part.}
anywho, derby day is big, biG, bIG, BIG in my sparkly playbook.
each year i get excited with the brand new possibility of a pony going for the
ever elusive triple crown.
i always watch secretariat the night before the derby,
and 2 years ago cried when it actually happened.

this year moi & a certain someone figured out a way to 
bring a lot of kentucky to our little slice of california by spending derby day 
at the santa anita race track.
we sat track-side, 
learned that i'm not too shabby at picking a winning superfecta {boxed, of course},
figured out i should probably stick to sky-high heels 
after a not-so-graceful meet and greet between my knee and the concrete,
snacked on all things fried,
and held onto our hats as we watched always dreaming win the roses on the big screen.




never has a day spent out in the rain been so full of sunshine.
XxOo.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

hello old friend.

hey girl {and boy}, heyyyyyyy.
a few things have changed since this brunette turned suicide squad blonde last checked in:

i am no longer a salt lake city-an!
that's right,
i closed the "big city living" chapter of my life for a dream i wanted even more,
to be smothered & surrounded by my people on the golden coast.
getting to a point in which i realized this took me on a bit of a journey.
but perhaps one of the greatest lessons i've learned thus far is 
while it's surely fun to go conquer the world,
{i think it's imperative to our growth to get out there and get after what we want}
if you don't have your people around to celebrate the victories with,
they don't mean much.
atleast not for me.
and while i was so blessed to meet great dear ones in slc,
my heart is, and forever will be, on the west coast.

it all finally feels right.
i would say if i had a top 5 rule book-sparkle-guide to life,
one of those rules would most certainly be:
never settle.
from life choices to relationships to friendships to the type of heels you invest in,
this mantra is mine through and through.
it has motivated all of my transitions in life thus far, 
and while it may seem to some that i ended up right back where i started,
the places i've been, the experiences i've had, the people i've met
all contributed to helping me down this path called the woman i'm striving to be.
as always, there are still a few kinks to work out from the move,
but every night before i fall asleep,
i get on my knees and thank the Lord for the comfort of knowing 
i'm exactly where i should be.

it's playoff season...and i don't have a knot in my stomach!
the sad news to this statement is that my beloved hawks are out of the playoffs.
the good news is i will have a rare stretch between now and june
where my life isn't run by gameday superstitions and
feeling like i'm one period of overtime away from an ulcer.

pass that bikini!
perhaps it's the fact that i am binging total divas off of hulu 
like it's a bowl of ice cream the night before a catholic kicks off lent,
or that summer is just around the corner,
but either way, i started round 3 of the kayla bikini body guide last week!
and i am all in on this choo-choo-train of veggies and kale juice,
so if you are excited for summah-time too,
email me!
burpees are always better in a {virtual} buddy system.
{email: theebergdorfbrunette@gmail.com}

april showers bring may flowers!
anything worth having in life isn't going to be handed to you.
{except maybe a cadberry egg or diet coke or somethin' like that}
and while this move has been absolutely perfect in terms of the bigger picture,
the millions of pieces to the california puzzle have been a bit of an uphill climb to fit together.
but like someone very dear to my heart reminded me today,
God is in charge.
what is meant for us will not pass by us.
and by faith and perseverance, 
the right doors will swing wide open at the right time.

as you can see love-doves,
so much is happening with so much more to fill you in on.
i am grateful for it all,
minus the hawks getting kicked out of the playoffs..
i'm not grateful for that. ;)

XxOo.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

easy bake book club: big little lies.




hi, hello my easy bake book-club loves!
i am so excited to announce our first read of the year:
BIG little LIES by liane moriarty.

now, i haven't read it yet so i am right there in the thick of this with all of you.
also, this means i apologize if there is anything that personally offends you between it's covers.
but, the new tv series starring my two fav la la land gals,
witherspoon and kidman,
launches on hbo on february 19th,
and i wouldn't be me if i didn't know the ending before it begins.
{suspense has always been a tough one for me}

a murder...a tragic accident...or just parents behaving badly?
what's indisputable is that someone is dead.

madeline is a force to be reckoned with. she's funny, biting and passionate; she remembers everything and forgives no one. celeste is the kind of beautiful woman who makes the world stop and stare, but she is paying a price for the illusion of perfection. new to town, single mom jane is so young that another mother mistakes her for a nanny. she comes with a mysterious past and a sadness beyond her years. these three women are at different corssroads, but they will all wind up in the same shocking place.

please tell me you are just as excited as moi?
and BONUS, oprah loved it, too.
and y'all know i live by that woman's words.

so run to target,
{i know we are all in there atleast 4 days a week}
your local bookstore,
or click into amazon and get your copy.
we are officially starting on
monday, january 23rd!

happy reading, cupcakes!
XxOo

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

why you gotta be so mean?



it's the strangest thing.
when you put yourself out into the public eye you have to be very ready for what might come back.
love. hate. and everything in between.
i am an incredibly private person,
but there are still parts of my life i am willing to and enjoy sharing with each of you in this space on my journey to whatever is next.  
and thankfully, for the most part, the reception to this blog has fallen on
very kind and enthusiastic ears over the past years.

unfortunately, this isn't always the case.
someone very close to me was recently on the brunt end of some incredibly insensitive remarks.
even taking it as far as mocking a very serious & trying mental illness my loved one battles.
of course, it was done online.
because people will say anything when they're hiding behind their big, bad, computers.
and do you want to know what the cause of the initial attack was?
a simple difference in opinion.
a difference in OPINION.
not a fact.
i mean, no one's out to prove the world isn't round here, people.
just...an opinion.

funny enough,
i was on the phone the other night with a gentleman who was initially calling to ask me out on a date.
{yes, guys, it's still nice when you CALL to talk to us}
as we started talking we ended up on the topic of politics.
it became very clear we didn't vote for the same person,
and we had very stark differences in opinions.
but we dug right in and 
proceeded to discuss these points of view for the next 15 minutes.
it was fun, it was thought provoking - it was great conversation.
but at the end of it, my initial thought was,
whelp, there is no way this guy is still gonna ask me out to dinner.
which was, of course, very closed minded on my part by automatically lumping him 
in with that my way or the highway group mentality.
he proved me very wrong when he then
asked me when he could take me to dinner.
after accepting the invitation i made some joke about how surprisingly easy it had been 
to differ in opinion with him,
to which he remarked that it was because we are adults.
what a concept, huh?
 
i am at a loss for when we decided as a modern society it was okay to hate people because of their differences.
haven't we been working toward the opposite of this for the last century?
why is it suddenly okay to be mean because you're "right" and the other person is "wrong"?
and why is it okay to lump everyone together?
as if one person's point of view suddenly dictates an entire group.
all police are bad.
all rich people are selfish.
all poor people are lazy. 
all liberals are entitled.
all conservatives are uneducated.
all white people are hateful.
all black people are angry.
all asian people are smart.
{although, to lighten the mood a bit here, that last one might actually be true, y'all!} 

because on my path to learning about others,
this is what i've come to understand...

so you're an atheist?
great, i'm a christian.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you're a democrat?
great, i'm a republican.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you're a vegetarian?
great, i can't live without crown burger.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you're a cardinals fan?
great, i'm a cubs fan.
i don't...uhh...actually, i do think differently of you.
{kidding! i don't think any differently of you!}

so you're a water only drinker?
great, i'm a diet coke addict.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you're pro-choice?
great, i'm pro-life.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you think spending lots of money on shoes is dumb?
great, i most certainly do not.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you think amy schumer is funny?
great, i can't stand the woman.
i don't think any differently of you. 

so you live in a cabin in the woods?
great, i think skyscrapers are God's gift to the world.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you liked obama?
great, i didn't.
guess what? I DO NOT THINK ANY DIFFERENTLY OF YOU!

so you love playing video games?
great, i'd rather be at a museum.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you think sports are dumb?
great, i think there's hockey in heaven.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you love the mountains?
great, i love the beach.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you think oprah is full of crap?
great, she's my north star in life.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you love going out drinking on a saturday night?
great, i've never had a sip of alcohol in my life.
i don't think any differently of you.

so you don't agree with anything i've mentioned in this post?
great, i do and that's okay.
i don't think any differently of you.
 
the point is...
there is no right or wrong here.
we are all doing the best we can with what we've got.
it's when we refuse to accept differences in thought and opinion 
that we become as closed minded as the people we often are trying to stand up against.
fighting the good fight includes acceptance, tolerance and love.
for all opinions.
being "right" shouldn't be what's important.
but being kind sure should be.

so as 2017 kicks off, let's go for it, 
shall we love doves?
let's have the maturity to say, 
hey! i may disagree with you, 
but that doesn't mean i can't see the other great qualities you bring to my table,
and i can't love the hell out of you still.
let's grow and learn from each other.
we may never agree on everything,
but then again,
that would be like being in a room with everyone wearing black pantsuits,
when i'm more of a hot pink tulle skirt with manolos kinda gal.
our unique qualities in mind, body and soul are what make this world a pretty great place.

because being mean?
it's so 2016.

XxOo.

Monday, December 12, 2016

only me when i'm with you: rach.

i think we have all heard the age old adage,
money doesn't buy happiness.
and sure that person probably never had sprinkles cupcakes,
but i am going to throw them a bone here & confirm they were on to something.
yes, i'm a gal who likes pretty things,
but that's not happiness.

as i've gotten older i've realized that happiness is who you experience the details of life with.
the good, the bad, the perfectly messy, the everything in between with.
i have never wanted for good friends.
i consider them some of my greatest blessings in this life.
which is why i am starting a new weekly bb piece!
instead of me saying how great my people are all the time,
they can tell you all about their fabulosity themselves!

each week i will showcase a different friend(s) through a blanket questionnaire
i've emailed out to them.
the answers are not edited nor suggested,
meaning this could get really scary, really fast!
oye!
but just true to the people my world is fortunate enough to spin around.







first up? RACH!
tiny bit of background:
rach and i have known each other for 18 years now.
she is thee absolute most loyal, non judgement best friend you could ever ask for.
she's the kind of girl you ask to help you bury a body.
okay, NOT REALLY, PEOPLE!
but you get the point i am trying to make.
she would do anything for those she loves.
she is funny, smart, sweet, and gives you nothing other than the 100% truth.
she's getting married next year {yay!},
and i can't wait to see all the good things that unfold her way through the years to come.
i would not be me without every bit i have learned from her.

so here we go...

what do you do for work?
investigative assistant at the public defender's office.

how did we meet?
we met in 7th grade, but things really took off when you stole the last white paper in one of our classes. i don't remember which class, but i remember we needed it for some artsy project we had to work on. i'm thinking it was english.

favorite movie/book?
movie: a walk to remember
book: i'd still probably have to say the twilight series (don't judge, i know how it looks lol)!

one word your fiancé would use to describe you?
nurturing.

what are the 3 things you would bring with you on a desert island?
cellphone, chapstick, my dog.

what are 3 things i would bring with me on a desert island?
diet coke, your fav pair of shoes, and a tv so you could watch your cubs and blackhawks!

something you say a lot?
OMG!

how did you meet your fiancé?
he was my TA in college...whoops! i did also happen to get the best grade in the class. (but that was all me!) we actually met because we were both TA's and had to take a specific "TA" class so we could receive credit. he just happened to be the assigned TA in one of my classes. we connected and bonded.

something embarrassing that has happened to you?
OMG i feel like there are so many and i don't even know where to start! most recently, i was trying to be sneaky and drop something off in my co-worker's office, but as i turned to leave i bumped into one of her shelves and broke part of it, making all kinds of commotion. needless to say, i got spotted and my effort to be sneaky failed! i was red as a tomato! now my theme song at work is "wrecking ball"...great! channeling my inner miley as we speak!

if you had to pick a tv or movie character for you, and one for me, who would they be?
well, i'm samantha and you are carrie! done and done (and karla's charlotte, obvy!)

what is something about me most readers probably don't know?
you have a strong, outgoing, tough demeanor. but the reality is, you hurt just as easily as the rest of us, you just don't let others see you when you're vulnerable.

what is your favorite memory of our friendship?
going to vegas to celebrate your "divorce" party! that was such an awesome girls trip and one i constantly think about! it was the last time we went to vegas just the 3 of us, too! we splurged on serendipity frozen hot chocolate, shopped, danced, gambled, and you even scored a bottle of champagne by a random girl in the casino! highlight of that night was us trying to figure out how to pop the cork!
(**editor's note - no, i've never been married. i had just gone through thee most gut wrenching heartache of my life and the girls picked me up off my floor and took me to vegas for the weekend to help me find my smile again. the first night we were there a group of guys came up to our table at dinner and asked us what we were celebrating. without thinking one of us said "she got divorced from this really awful guy we all tried to warn her against marrying" - and the theme just stuck.)

one thing you want for christmas?
cards against humanity

we are going shopping, where is the first place on your list?
target!

do you view the diet coke glass half full or half empty?
half full, always.

aside from necessities, what is the one thing you can't go a day without?
chapstick! or does that count as a necessity? if so, then probably my cellphone!

what is the last thing you watched on tv?
the great christmas light fight! (i think that's the name of the show!)

what is your biggest pet peeve?
when people lie and think they're being sneaky, but it's obvious they're lying.

what is your favorite thing about yourself?
i am very passionate when it comes to people and things i care about and love. don't mess with me when you mess with someone i love!

why do you think our friendship works?
our friendship works because despite any issues we have had or will have (because let's face it, nobody is perfect and there will always be issues, that's how a healthy relationship works) eventually things always go back to where they left off. it's like nothing ever happened or separated us. we pick up and can continue laughing and having a good time with one another. despite anything we are all alike, yet we bring a little extra something to the table. you have the ability to be strong and outspoken. i think that is something i have learned over the years of being friends with you. there is always something to learn from one another. we accept each other for the good, the bad and the ugly. we revel in each other's flaws and know that that is what adds character and spunkiness to our relationship. if things were always perfect, then life would just be boring. we fight, we laugh, we cry together. we've been through major life changes together. you moved to utah (more than once!!) and yet here we still are. like the saying goes "we may be far in distance, but never in heart". your family is my family and vice versa. it works because WE make it work. because it's something WE want. it's something WE can't find anywhere else.

if you could tell bergdorf brunette readers anything, what would it be?
that they should feel honored that you share so much of your life with them! it's not easy to put yourself out there, and the fact that you do that and actually pay attention to the requests, wants, needs of your readers speaks volumes about the person you are. you are a private person, but you give the people what they want! ;)

but really though loves,
isn't she perfection?
now you have a tiny peak of why i am so incredibly lucky to call this one mine.

XxOo.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

keep that tinsel out of a tangle, y'all.





 i feel it's finally time to explain the license plate.
when i was relief society president,
yes, RELIEF SOCIETY president,
my sweet & fabulously brazilian 1st counselor
{we call her gisele, for short}
visited NYC.
now, we had probably only known each other for about 2 months, at the time,
but she came back with this gift for me.
i was a bit taken aback at first and she simply said,
in her perfect no excuses accent,
"you know, because you're a new york b****h."
i laughed so hard i couldn't not make it a permanent place in my home.
and she made for herself a permanent place to stay in my life.

 their names are sid, geno, chris and kris.
obviously.


 the statement shoe shelf of the house got a little christmas cheer makeover for the season.



 when i was a little girl,
i used to beg my mom to let me sleep with this velveteen rabbit every christmas eve.

the nice thing about having such an extensive shoe collection,
is you can improvise when you realize you're not enough of an adult
to have a tree topper.


 
i got these adorable hawaiian holiday hula girls when
we were in hawaii this past march.
i'm slightly obsessed,
but they also remind me of the epic, i need a dole whip NOW,
mini-meltdown i had that afternoon.
and i can't help but laugh at who i turn into when i'm hangry.

 she's a bit dated, but still my favorite.
i bought this becky thatcher ornament in hannibal, missouri,
with my allowance money,
during once of our many family cross country summer road trips when i was younger.


 because who said louboutins only go on your feet?

 my happy places.

 over the past two years,
my little apartment in thee city has come to know 2 nicknames.
in the summer it's the barbie dream house.
embarrassingly appropriate.
the day glitter isn't a basic human right is the day i give up on this world!
during the fall & winter it's the hallmark house.
my gal pals have compared my life over this past season to one that would fit 
into no other world than a hallmark world.
if i wasn't so insanely private about certain parts of my life,
i would go into thee details.
maybe one day i will.
but until then,
you get a peak into my "hallmark movie girl" home decor.
because as you can tell,
i don't like christmas at all. ;)

XxOo.